Need some polishing for a paragraph

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learningchayse
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby learningchayse » Thu Mar 14, 2019 4:18 pm

Kat wrote:Maybe to "go beyond time" is supposed to mean "to overcome time"?
I'm not a native English speaker, so I could be completely on the wrong track here.


it sorta means "jumping out of time", as opposed to "being trapped in time". yes, sorta like overcome time.
does the word transcend make sense to you? cause I looked the word "transcend" up in the dictionary and it said "go beyond". so i guess they are interchangeable?
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby Deinonysus » Thu Mar 14, 2019 4:29 pm

learningchayse wrote:Okay. I kinda know what you mean. And thanks for the recommendation. Am I that advanced to read this? :lol: :lol: . I mean I am just a newbie who wants to write my thoughts that would make sense to people and hopefully do it simple and nice.
I don't think you should have any trouble reading Elements of Style with some help from a dictionary. It's a short book and the writing is clear. I think it could help your writing a lot.
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learningchayse
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby learningchayse » Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:02 pm

Deinonysus wrote:
learningchayse wrote:Okay. I kinda know what you mean. And thanks for the recommendation. Am I that advanced to read this? :lol: :lol: . I mean I am just a newbie who wants to write my thoughts that would make sense to people and hopefully do it simple and nice.
I don't think you should have any trouble reading Elements of Style with some help from a dictionary. It's a short book and the writing is clear. I think it could help your writing a lot.


OK. I'll check that out. Thanks.
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby Morgana » Thu Mar 14, 2019 11:23 pm

learningchayse wrote:
Kat wrote:Maybe to "go beyond time" is supposed to mean "to overcome time"?
I'm not a native English speaker, so I could be completely on the wrong track here.


it sorta means "jumping out of time", as opposed to "being trapped in time". yes, sorta like overcome time.
does the word transcend make sense to you? cause I looked the word "transcend" up in the dictionary and it said "go beyond". so i guess they are interchangeable?

Hi learningchayse, I just wanted to reassure you that your use of "transcend" and "go beyond" made sense to me in this context within what I assume you are trying to communicate. I think you're writing something like science fiction or at least a bit abstract. I've come across the idea of "going beyond time" or living outside of it rather than being trapped within it or being ruled by it before, not sure if it was in the context of meditation or eastern philosophy or what, but it's not a weird concept to me.
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby zenmonkey » Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:07 am

learningchayse wrote:"The truth is, even astral travellers, seemingly rock and rule transcending time and space freely, they were rarely born with this sort of power fully formed, they devote their time diligently to it and routine their way to go beyond."


A possible edit:

"The truth is that even for astral travellers, while seemingly transcending time and space freely, they were rarely born with this sort of power fully formed. They devote their time to diligently learn a routine to go beyond."
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby eido » Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:21 am

zenmonkey wrote:"The truth is that even for astral travellers, while seemingly transcending time and space freely, they were rarely born with this sort of power fully formed. They devote their time to diligently learn a routine to go beyond."

Much less flowery than mine :oops:
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby zenmonkey » Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:40 am

eido wrote:
zenmonkey wrote:"The truth is that even for astral travellers, while seemingly transcending time and space freely, they were rarely born with this sort of power fully formed. They devote their time to diligently learn a routine to go beyond."

Much less flowery than mine :oops:


I pared it down, you enriched it.
Just stylistic differences.
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby learningchayse » Fri Mar 15, 2019 1:14 am

zenmonkey wrote:
learningchayse wrote:"The truth is, even astral travellers, seemingly rock and rule transcending time and space freely, they were rarely born with this sort of power fully formed, they devote their time diligently to it and routine their way to go beyond."


A possible edit:

"The truth is that even for astral travellers, while seemingly transcending time and space freely, they were rarely born with this sort of power fully formed. They devote their time to diligently learn a routine to go beyond."


omg, that is the kind of editing I am looking for. I mean you really give me space style wise.
Thank you!
one more question, what if i just use
A: They devote their time diligently to go beyond.
B: They devote their time diligently to move beyond.
C: They devote their time diligently to go/move beyond it.
D: They devote their time diligently to go/move beyond time.
does any of it still make sense to you?

PS: really like zen stuff..lol
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby zenmonkey » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:23 am

For me the sentence :
"They devote their time diligently to moving beyond time."

works grammatically but conceptually one devotes time to an activity or to a goal

"They devote their time diligently to master moving beyond time."
"They devote their time diligently to mastering moving beyond time."
"They devote their time diligently to mastering how to move beyond time."

all work.
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learningchayse
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Re: Need some polishing for a paragraph

Postby learningchayse » Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:42 am

zenmonkey wrote:For me the sentence :
"They devote their time diligently to moving beyond time."

works grammatically but conceptually one devotes time to an activity or to a goal

"They devote their time diligently to master moving beyond time."
"They devote their time diligently to mastering moving beyond time."
"They devote their time diligently to mastering how to move beyond time."

all work.


Thanks!
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