Ani's 2018 Log

[MamaPata]

So cool! In terms of wildlife near me, I could send you a video of the cat watching the pigeons to calculate his chances of catching one. Don't think it would have quite the same vibe though!

You'll do great on Saturday.

[Ani]

So cool! In terms of wildlife near me, I could send you a video of the cat watching the pigeons to calculate his chances of catching one. Don't think it would have quite the same vibe though!

You'll do great on Saturday.

Thanks!

To be fair, that's not exactly "near me". Short flight. DH has some pretty cool work travel. That's in Katmai National Park, probably on the list of top 5 places to view bears in the world

[Ani]

Well I'm feeling rather demoralized today. I feel like deleting all the languages from my profile and just writing "I quit". :-p

Conveniently, that's been a hot topic around here. I pulled up a copy of rdearman's presentation. I'm going to read through it in the morning. I also dug up several novels worth of advice Cavesa has given over time to different people. Super encouraging. Leaving those open on my screen to wake up to as well. Of course along the way I found other posts by forum members that we're also helpful and encouraging.

I did have a bit of a personality revelation.. I am really terrible at everything I do.

I was kind of moping about that this evening until I realized that if I weren't terrible at it, I wouldn't do it, or at least wouldn't enjoy it. I mean, there isn't really anything I'm good at that I keep doing for fun.. maybe reading but that kind of goes along with breathing, walking, and looking at things...either I'm finding areas that I'm terrible at and trying to improve or I've dropped it/taken it off my radar. I'm sure someday I'll have more skills I can take for granted... And then I can sit around being depressed at a whole new list of things I suck at...

[zenmonkey]

Well I'm feeling rather demoralized today. I feel like deleting all the languages from my profile and just writing "I quit". :-p

I'm surprised reading that in your log. What happened?

You seem to be someone that juggles quite a few things with a positive attitude (maybe I'm projecting from your photo) but that's what comes to mind when I read your log.

We have bad days. They don't define us.

[PeterMollenburg]

Also curious as to why you feel this way. I agree entirely with zenmonkey’s post, you are quite the positive person who appears to juggle a massive amount of tasks throughout your week. Perhaps its only fair you have an occasional short-circuit/meltdown/depressive episode, as its peplexing how you manage to do all you do (a LOT), so don’t be so hard on yourself! I hope you feel better soon!

[aaleks]

Just want to say that I agree with zenmonkey and PeterMollenburg

[Ani]

Well I'm feeling rather demoralized today. I feel like deleting all the languages from my profile and just writing "I quit". :-p

I'm surprised reading that in your log. What happened?

You seem to be someone that juggles quite a few things with a positive attitude (maybe I'm projecting from your photo) but that's what comes to mind when I read your log.

We have bad days. They don't define us.

Maybe I am just having a bad day. Or week..
I usually do have a positive attitude (I manage to keep my whining to myself ), but I'm not sure that objectivity changes much. It gets frustrating sometimes being surrounded by so many unfinished things without the time or ability to finish them. And it's hard not to compare myself to other people who seem to accomplish mountains of things. I'm pretty far over extended right now and I think I'm crumbling.

Also curious as to why you feel this way. I agree entirely with zenmonkey’s post, you are quite the positive person who appears to juggle a massive amount of tasks throughout your week. Perhaps its only fair you have an occasional short-circuit/meltdown/depressive episode, as its peplexing how you manage to do all you do (a LOT), so don’t be so hard on yourself! I hope you feel better soon!

Thanks. I think the idea that I do a lot is an illusion.. I mean everybody does stuff at least like 10 hours a day right? Sometimes a lot more than that.
I guess I won't get very far whining to you about how I don't feel like I'm really C1 in French after 4 years and then I figure it's going to take another 4 years to get there since everyone says B2 to C1 takes longer than getting to B2 in the first place... And then that's 8 years for something other people do in a total of 9 months and I just feel terribly inadequate.

[PeterMollenburg]

Also curious as to why you feel this way. I agree entirely with zenmonkey’s post, you are quite the positive person who appears to juggle a massive amount of tasks throughout your week. Perhaps its only fair you have an occasional short-circuit/meltdown/depressive episode, as its peplexing how you manage to do all you do (a LOT), so don’t be so hard on yourself! I hope you feel better soon!

Thanks. I think the idea that I do a lot is an illusion.. I mean everybody does stuff at least like 10 hours a day right? Sometimes a lot more than that.
I guess I won't get very far whining to you about how I don't feel like I'm really C1 in French after 4 years and then I figure it's going to take another 4 years to get there since everyone says B2 to C1 takes longer than getting to B2 in the first place... And then that's 8 years for something other people do in a total of 9 months and I just feel terribly inadequate.

Ah yes, I know those sentiments very well, and I have come to realise that the best solution is to move forward. It’s a tough path. I probably could’ve done another two degrees in the time and effort I’ve been putting into French, but that’s not what I want.

What do you want is perhaps worth asking yourself (I’m certain you have done though). Then, if you want too much (too many languages for example), prioritise. Pick what you want the most, accept the task ahead of you and go for it. Forgive me if my positive nudge/ realist approach isn’t what you’re seeking. Either way hang in there and don’t be so hard on yourself!

[gsbod]

I guess I won't get very far whining to you about how I don't feel like I'm really C1 in French after 4 years and then I figure it's going to take another 4 years to get there since everyone says B2 to C1 takes longer than getting to B2 in the first place... And then that's 8 years for something other people do in a total of 9 months and I just feel terribly inadequate.

Have you looked at getting an objective assessment of where you are with French? For comprehension, past papers for a CEFR based exam should do the job, but if it's speaking or writing that is bothering you it may be worth paying a tutor who knows what they are doing for an hour or so for an assessment of where you are. I suggest this because for years I have consistently underestimated where I am at with whatever language I am learning, which is not only demoralising, but it also led to me holding myself back on certain things I didn't believe I was ready for yet.

I also wouldn't worry too much about the gap between B2 and C1. I made it from B2 German to C1 so quickly, I didn't even realise it had happened (see above about underestimating levels). I'd done a lot of the groundwork already in terms of grammar and vocab, and eventually it just sort of snapped into place. And I didn't realise how much leeway you still have to make mistakes at C1 until I watched the video of a speaking exam posted by the Goethe-Institut.

C2 appears to be a whole other level though...

[rdearman]

When you finish my presentation I hope you will realize comparing yourself to others and unrealistic expectations are the road to hell. Don't look at the mountains ahead, stop and look at the views behind you. Look at all you've accomplished already. You especially don't want to compare yourself to people here. For me the standard here is to high. It is like i am driving a golf cart and everyone else has a Ferrari.

Concentrate on your accomplishments and your self belief. Remember also that people who are good at things tend to underestimate their accomplishments because they clearly see what they cannot do. Whereas people who aren't as good don't see as clearly and overestimate their skills.

I personally decided I don't care how long it takes to get there, as long as I don't stop I will arrive sooner or later.