PeterMollenburg wrote:. Tomorrow the big mission starts... and now I feel unwell Nothing however will stop me, not even death!!
I wouldn't tempt the Grim Reaper, that guy has no sense of humour!
This is very odd. According what I'm looking at, I wrote the above about the Grim Reaper! (I didn't) And yet my original post replying to Arnaud's has disappeared! Ah, not going to lose sleep over it, but if someone can fix it, that would be... well... better I guess.
Edit: I've recovered my post (pasted below). I have no idea how it disappeared! So who did write the above about the Grim Reaper, coz it wasn't me.
Arnaud wrote:You're wrong, the whole text is unnatural. But that's normal, Peter isn't yet C2. The text is too heavy, the grammar must be at the service of the text, and not the contrary. Let's take the first sentence:LesRonces wrote:I might be totally wrong here but to me this phrase seems unnatural.J'ai dû aller au centre-ville de la grande ville aujourd'hui pour un rendez-vous et après qu'il a été terminé, je me suis décidé d'aller à un magasin à une demi-heure en plus en voiture de l'endroit où j'ai eu le rendez-vous.
Aujourd'hui, j'ai dû aller au centre-ville pour un rendez-vous et j'ai ensuite décidé d'aller dans un magasin à une demi-heure de voiture de l'endroit où j'étais. (it's a proposition of improvement, someone else could have written something else, of course)
Repetition of "ville" and "rendez-vous": good style=no repetition (it's a rule of thumb, so that means that you have to structure your text in a way that the repetitions aren't necessary, by using a good word order or implying some things (here I imply that as you go to the city center, you live in the suburbs or in a little town in the back country: no precision is necessary: I can remove "la grande ville"), après que + indicatif (congrats, you know your grammar, but too heavy here), se décider à/décider de, une 1/2 heure en plus en voiture (not correct).
I myself repeat the verb "aller", I could have written "se rendre" to avoid that, but "aller" is super frequent, so it's not a big problem.
Thanks Arnaud for your clarifications. The reason I repeated 'ville' (I was debating whether I should) was indeed a precision thing. If I just said j'ai dû aller au centre ville that would feel wrong to me because it would be suggesting I had to go into the town centre of where I live. I didn't. I had to go into the town centre of the major city of which I live 60kms from the centre of. I didn't really know how to express this while being precise and not repeating myself. Perhaps I was just to accept that precision wasn't possible in this phrase.
Still, I greatly appreciate all of your assistance here, and I'm sure it's clarifying things for others not just myself. It's clear I need to keep pushing on. Tomorrow the big mission starts... and now I feel unwell Nothing however will stop me, not even death!!