I have learned other life lessons I feel I should pass on.
- Never tell a biker he is fat.
- Don't spit out the window of a moving car.
- Blondes may have more fun, but they also have overprotective fathers.
- If you pull the earring out of a drunken marine's ear, make sure the bar isn't full of his friends, and you're not the only air force guy.
- If you have enough (drunken) courage/stupidity to pull an earring out of a marine's ear in a bar full of marines they'll all buy you drinks because they think your hard as a nail.
- In Japan when they tell you the mustard is hot, they mean it.
- Never use English mustard like you'd use American mustard. (This is a corollary to the Japanese mustard lesson above)
- If you live in England and the forecast says rain, take an umbrella with you.
- If you live in England and the forecast says sunshine, take an umbrella with you.
- There are more abnormal people who wake up before noon than normal people who are awake until 3am, you will have to deal with these mutants all your life.
- When in Rome, DO NOT do as the Romans do.
- The Carabinieri are actually fairly even-handed for police officers.
- Two Americans in a Japanese mini-mart can always see each other over the top shelves.
- Japanese police disapprove of stealing road gratings for use as BBQ grates.
- Never shoot your friends with Roman candles, especially if they are wearing polyester.
- Japanese police disapprove of Roman candle fights in residential areas. Especially if someone has been caught on fire.
- Don't encourage drunk people to try and make a giant kite from a bedsheet to use during a typhoon.
- Military Police disapprove of people trying to turn themselves into a human kite in a typhoon.
- Military Police disapprove of people trying to remove the valve cores from the tires of the base commander's vehicle.
- Military police disapprove of feeding pizza to drug sniffer dogs. (Seems the dog is kept hungry, so it will get a treat when it finds drugs)
- If the music in your dormitory can be heard inside the Officers Club a 1/2 mile away they will call the MPs.
- Military Police have zero sense of humour about anything.