allf100 wrote:Hello!
Would someone please proofread this piece of mine for writing exercise? If you don't have time to point all the errors out, I will be grateful if there're just a few corrections which will be very helpful.
Please just take your time. Thank you!
Home, Sweet Home
The song with stongest emotional memory attached to me is an English song titled Home, Sweet Home by American lyricist John Howard Payne and English composer Sir Henry Bishop. Most of time, I try to avoid listening to the song because it can cause many emotional ripples on my heart pond. Sometimes, it was just sneaking into my heart and playing alone involuntarily silently with a virtual gramophone called memory.
When I was teen, one day I was clumsily teaching myself to play a song on my electronic organ in our home, and my father instantly told me this was a world famous song named Home, Sweet Home in Chinese. I was very surprised, and couldn't believe he would have known that, as we lived in a small city where had little touch with the outside world.
By then, I liked this song which just sounded very beautiful, elegant, and nostalgic, but it didn't really strike a chord with me because I was happy. And I didn't realize this period was my happiest time in my life when I was care-free, though we had to pinch Chinese cents to get by.
After many years later, my father died of cancer. I moved to Shanghai. After working, I was wandering alone on the buzzing street in one of the busiest metropolis, looking up the neon lights which were winking on skyscrapers afar, but I had no idea where I was going to. I couldn't call the place I slept home. The loneliness was just like the endless evening shrouding me. I remembered the song, our humble home, my father... Some liquid was dropping down along my cheeks but it was not raining...
The song that stirs up my strongest and most emotional memories, is an English song titled "Home, Sweet Home", by American lyricist John Howard Payne, and English composer Sir Henry Bishop. Most of the time, I try to avoid listening to the song, because it forms many emotional ripples in the pond that is my heart. Sometimes, it just sneaks into my heart, and plays subconsciously, silently, through that virtual gramophone which we call "memory".
One day when I was a teen, I was clumsily teaching myself to play a song on my electronic organ in our home, and my father instantly recalled that this was a world-famous song, called "Home, Sweet Home" in Chinese. I was very surprised, and couldn't believe he would have known that, as we lived in a small city which was quite isolated from the outside world.
By then, I had already started liking the song, which just sounded so beautiful, elegant, and nostalgic. However it didn't truly impact me back then, because I was happy. And I didn't realize this period would be the happiest time in my life. I was care-free, though we had to pinch Chinese cents to get by.
Many years later, my father died of cancer. I moved to Shanghai. Most days after work, I wandered alone on the buzzing street in one of the busiest metropoles, looking up at the blinking neon lights which were attached to skyscrapers far away, but I had no idea where I was going. I could no longer call the place where I slept, "home". The loneliness felt like an endless evening, shrouding me. I remembered the song, our humble home, my father... Some liquid was dripped down my cheeks, but it wasn't raining...