Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

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issemiyaki
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Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby issemiyaki » Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:41 am

Anybody here suffer from strong bouts of anger when learning a language.

Increasingly, I feel pissed off when I don't understand something! While my listening comprehension has improved greatly, I still have a long way to go! And it seems like I'll never get to "cruising altitude." I'm not asking to understand everything, but I'm tired of feeling like I'm in the dark, trying to piece things together.

I'm learning French for professional reasons, so there's a bit of pressure on the line. But it's not like I'm starting work next week.

But sometimes when I'm listening to TV or the radio, I just want to throw the TV and radio out the window when I hit patches where I can't understand. It's so demoralizing, and I just keep thinking when the hell is this going to get better.

I'm just venting, but sharing my pain might help me learn from it.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby smallwhite » Thu Nov 09, 2017 2:40 am

issemiyaki wrote:I feel pissed off when I don't understand something!

Me, too. So I work harder in order to learn faster
issemiyaki wrote:there's a bit of pressure on the line. But it's not like I'm starting work next week.

towards a fixed deadline that I set for myself.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby Speakeasy » Thu Nov 09, 2017 3:25 am

I suspect that many, if not most, people who invest a significant amount of time and energy in the attainment of a long-term goal experience sporadic periods of frustration and disillusionment with their apparent lack of progress. It is very easy to fall into the trap of believing that, despite the significant obstacles that we have already surmounted, this must have been because those behind us were of little account and to assume that those that remain before us are unassailable. Frankly, your manner of describing the onset of the problem suggests to me that you have merely reached a plateau. You may even feel that you’re regressing! This is a rather unpleasant, and apparently normal, part of the learning process. Believe me, if you persevere, you will break out of this and continue to advance ... to the next plateau.

As to your emotional response, of course, I have experienced frustration, discouragement and disillusionment! But, “strong bouts of anger”? To me, this type of reaction is unwarranted and disproportionate to the stimulus. There is a significant difference between being irritated and being infuriated. So, perhaps you meant something else. If not, whether your anger is directed inwardly or outwardly, it is sure to have undesirable consequences in the long run and you might wish to discuss this with a health professional. Or, you might simply need to step back from your studies, take a deep, long breath, get some exercise, go hiking, change your routine, spend more time with your friends, and the like.

As you are learning French for professional reasons, with a view to relieving the pressure, you might want to begin changing your perspective on learning the language. Is this an “up or out” situation that you’re in, or are you chasing after something because you really, really, really want to work and live in French; not for the career prospects, but because you want to immerse yourself in the culture? Many, many years ago, one of my mentors said to me (and I remember being perplexed by this sudden turn in the conversation): “You know, working 40 hours a week at something that you really don’t want to do, at something that you know in your heart that you are not suited for, makes for one hell of a long week. And, when you're in that sort of situation, there are a lot more weeks in a year than you think!”

EDITED:
Typos.
Last edited by Speakeasy on Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby reineke » Thu Nov 09, 2017 3:45 am

No but these security questions are starting to get to me.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby lavengro » Thu Nov 09, 2017 5:40 am

I don't turn to anger, but discouragement. Anger might be a more useful response if it motivates one to work at it harder.

However, if you experience "Colin Firth" level anger, perhaps check your sim card, it may not be related to French:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1WWDBTda2Y

(Warning: the attached clip, while representing easily the most effective cinematic use of a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, does contain some strong language and a modest amount of violence, and accordingly should not be watched by anyone. Consider yourself warned....)
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby LinguaPony » Thu Nov 09, 2017 7:32 am

I might feel annoyed when I can't translate something, but I felt angry - really angry - only once, about the Chinese characters. I was hopeless at memorising them and messed up all dictations until I was faced with a choice - to give up my classes or to figure out a method.

I paid for my rage with three days of terrible headache, but then it all passed, and suddenly I figured out the method to memorise the characters. So my advice would be - don't "deal" with your anger - use it. Convert it into something positive, because in that state of mind you might be able to achieve things you would never manage under normal circumstances.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby Ольга » Thu Nov 09, 2017 8:44 am

I constantly feel anger while learning languages because I know I am a great procrastinator and I could study harder. :D
There is only one way which works for me: to find a method which suits you best of all and learn, learn, learn. And it is better to find two or three such suitable methods and vary them. Like me: Listening-Reading method, Creative Writing (invented by me), etc. :D
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby Iversen » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:25 am

I don't get angry when I don't understand something - though sometimes slightly mystified and/or disappointed.

I do get angry when the reason that I don't understand it that some mislead run-of-the-mill fool in charge of a TV program has turned up the volume of the background music to a level where I can't hear the voices, and I always get angry when something is dubbed (so for that reason I have stopped watching TV programs from non-German countries on German television).
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby Bex » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:41 am

Oh I get very angry and frustrated.

My frustration comes from leaning so long and feeling like I'm not getting anywhere. Hours, weeks, months, years of studying Spanish and I can't even understand 5 mins of TV. This is the first language I have ever learnt, I'm an introvert and terrible procrastinator - my language learning is slow and painful :oops:

Many times have I felt like smashing the TV...I feel your pain.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby garyb » Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:09 pm

The anger I've experienced has mostly been related to people, for example negative and condescending attitudes from native speakers or people promising to help me with the language and then changing their mind. That might just mean I'm too sensitive though, or feel like I'm too dependent on speaking practice in order to improve. There is also lower-level frustration with slow progress, thoughts like "after all this time I'm still struggling to understand and speak", but I just have to remind myself that this takes a long time.
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