Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby tarvos » Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:47 pm

I'm slow to anger, so that's not an issue. Frustrated, perhaps, but that's just an incentive to solve the problem.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby issemiyaki » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:14 am

I am so overwhelmed by your responses. Thank you for your honesty.

I was just telling a friend that language learning is, indeed, a psychological experience.

Speakeasy, I love your quote. Rest assured I love practicing French, I just hate sucking at it. But I should probably change the language I use to define my situation.

Lingua Pony, thank you for your suggestion to convert my anger into something positive. That just might be the thrust I need to pull me out of this wilderness of incomprehension. Thank you dearly.

And to the others, let us persevere.

Thank you for helping me to realize I’m not alone.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby tomgosse » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:49 am

I try to keep frustration from turning into anger. Any anger I do feel is directed to myself, and that does not help me at all. Recently I took a look at how far I've come in three years of studying French. I started by thinking that I was a total failure because after all this time I was not "fluent". But, I noticed that I can now understand more French than three years ago:
  • with the aid of a dictionary I can read most French newspapers and magazines.
  • I can pick up the gist of most French speeches and songs.
  • I need to do major work on speaking in French, and
  • French pronunciation.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby Steve » Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:26 pm

I would point out that stress negatively affects learning. My (limited!) understanding is that stress can arise from any of the big 3 negative emotions, fear, depression, or anger. I would distinguish this from intensity, passion, focus, or drive which I would guess do not cause high levels of stress.

Here are a few articles on this from a quick search that give the general overview of things. I'm sure that there are some better ones out there. (Perhaps I first ran across this topic on this site and just cannot remember that. It may have already been discussed in some other thread. I read a lot of stuff and then cannot remember where.)

https://psychcentral.com/news/2008/03/12/stress-affects-learning-and-memory/2031.html

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/03/080311182434.htm

http://www.edudemic.com/stress-affects-brain-learning/

https://www.edutopia.org/blog/neuroscience-behind-stress-and-learning-judy-willis

I first read about the negative effect of stress on learning a few years ago. Since then, I've tried to make my language learning as stress free as possible. If I catch my body starting to tighten up, find myself getting irritated or frustrated, or anything negative like that, I try to take a step back, relax, and go back into a mode of "hey, this is supposed to be enjoyable". This has started to be a habit with me. I try to make sure whatever activity I am doing is relaxed and more natural rather than forced and pressured. My sense is that my language learning has become more efficient since I've started doing that. I've become much more conscious of how effective an activity is rather than just how keeping track of how long I've spent doing it or how many pages I've gotten through.

I would also guess that stress from other sources outside of language learning will probably also have a big effect on learning as well.

To be clear, I distinguish frustration from being challenged. I like a challenge (and love to solve puzzles). However, being frustrated feels very different to me than being challenged. I also distinguish the satisfaction and enjoyment of focused work from the self-imposed pressure of meeting particular schedules and goals.

Obviously, we are all different and have different preferences with regard to order and chaos and what constitutes discipline and effort and what causes stress in each of us. I think that the important thing is learning the difference between negative stress versus positive focus and work when we are learning a language.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby Atinkoriko » Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:43 pm

For language related stress, I simply drop the language in question and focus on another one until I feel ready to get back into the flow.

For general stress, well, that’s what my boxing gym membership is for. 30 minutes of hitting a punching bag is usually enough to get me refreshed
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby lingua » Fri Nov 10, 2017 5:33 pm

I have never felt anger learning a language. I have felt frustrated however. Sometimes you have to change your study methods to see if another way works better for helping you to progress.

I think we underestimate how long it takes to become fluent if we don't live in a place where we can immerse ourselves in our target languages. There's a reason most language 101 classes have high rates of dropouts (at least in the US). It's hard work for most people.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby kraemder » Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:54 am

I don't know about anger but I get demoralized when I try to understand but come up short. I don't know if that truly goes away but I've read some books in Japanese and my understanding has been very satisfactory to me and it's very encouraging. I used to get very angry at natives for not understanding me when I was expressing myself but I've gotten better at rephrasing things differently when this happens and a lot of that anger has gone away. A lady tonight failed to understand me when I said taikin or a large sum of money but it didn't bother very much. A year ago it would have had me fuming. So just give it time. The negative emotions often turn to positive ones as you see progress but it can take a while.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby Decidida » Fri Jan 05, 2018 5:01 pm

I don't know the rules and customs here for reviving old threads, but this thread really spoke to me.

For me, anger is often converted fear. I welcome the anger. It is more comfortable than the fear. And I usually gain a target as soon as the conversion takes place. A plan of action forms in my mind. I become proactive and empowered.

I am angry about a lot of things right now. I need to use that anger as fuel. I need to control it and choose targets.

Sometimes I feel fear about my language studies. All sorts of different fear. Two days ago I was trying to text someone in Spanish. This person speaks better English than I speak Spanish, but cannot read English and is sensitive about it. We have mostly transitioned to Spanish for texting. I knew I was being misunderstood and I felt fear of the consequences of being misunderstood. The fear was making it harder for me to try and text in Spanish and I was forgetting everything I know.

When we were done texting, I had a list of study targets and immersed myself in very profitable study for the next 8 hours, barely taking time to eat and falling into bed exhausted but better at Spanish. I kind of didn't even hit angry that day and almost bypassed it.

I feel such urgency to learn to this language. I'm going to have to settle for whatever I can accomplish. Any progress puts me farther ahead. I have to just keep moving forward. Sometimes at a crawl and sometimes much faster.

I just got frustrated with a lesson I am working on. I'm feeling pressure to finish some things before school starts the week after next, and my time to study Spanish is going to be so much less. I needed to walk away. After posting this I will go back to it and work until I want to cry, and then will switch to something that is more passive learning, or go run my errands and get some exercise, and then go back to it again. I need to break this frustrating work into small pieces and hit the pieces one at a time.

I am a tortoise not a hare. I WILL reach my goals. It ain't going to be pretty. I am going to have to crawl to the finish line. But I WILL reach my goals. I will cross a finish line that others with more ability and resources will give up on. I will not give up! BECAUSE I am angry. Anger is my fuel. I cannot do this WITHOUT anger.

For watching news clips, I work on translating the headlines and description and then try and listen for those words and the 100 most common words in the video clip even if I don't understand anything else. And I try and learn as much as I can from the pictures and body language to hone those non-language skills. When I am overwhelmed, I try and give myself smaller goals than fully understanding a video or book. I try and make my goals measurable, so that when I feel frustrated, I can remember the goals I have recently reached. And every day, I try and compare my current abilities with no ability to speak Spanish at all. I've accomplished something significant. I have SOOOO far to go, though, and sometimes it makes me weepy. My tears stick the pages of books together. Not just for Spanish. Studying for the college math placement test was brutal!

For Spanish, I need to keep my eyes closer to where I am at NOW. If I don't watch where I put my feet NOW, I will stumble for sure. One step ahead. Look up occasionally and check my compass to make sure I am headed in the right direction. But mostly, I need to stay focused on my baby steps and the ground right in front of me. Crawling on the ground with my tortoise shell weighing me down, but moving FORWARD, while others slumber and give up.
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby William Camden » Fri Jan 05, 2018 9:53 pm

lavengro wrote:I don't turn to anger, but discouragement. Anger might be a more useful response if it motivates one to work at it harder.

However, if you experience "Colin Firth" level anger, perhaps check your sim card, it may not be related to French:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1WWDBTda2Y

(Warning: the attached clip, while representing easily the most effective cinematic use of a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, does contain some strong language and a modest amount of violence, and accordingly should not be watched by anyone. Consider yourself warned....)

"A modest amount of violence"??? I tend to go for long walks to let off steam, myself...
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Re: Dealing with Anger While Learning Foreign Language

Postby Decidida » Fri Jan 05, 2018 10:40 pm

William Camden wrote: "A modest amount of violence"??? I tend to go for long walks to let off steam, myself...


Walking helps me so much too. I live in the heart of a major city and do not have a car. I plan walking errands into my study schedule. It helps so much. Short naps too. I do better with a shorter night's sleep and a nap or two when I am power studying.
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