Help - Tame my Talkative Tutor? Or Maybe Blessing in Disguise?

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tarvos
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Re: Help - Tame my Talkative Tutor? Or Maybe Blessing in Disguise?

Postby tarvos » Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:24 pm

LesRonces wrote:
Ani wrote:
LesRonces wrote:I never understood why asking for advice is the first port of call for people.
.


a.) Because they are uncomfortable with confrontation.
b.) Because they haven't formulated exactly what they want coherently yet.
c.) Because culturally they are used to being told what service they will receive for payment and are unused to the idea of telling another person what should be provided for the money.
d.) Because talking things out is a validating experience

I am sure there are plenty more...

Maybe, but it would be a lot easier and quicker and therefore more cost-effective to just tell them what you want. If i have guitar lessons and i like metal but the guy just teaches me some pop tune on day one, but all i want to do is play metal, surely the first point of call is just to tell the guy ? 9 times out of 10 he will just say 'yeah, let's just play some metal then' instead of having to go round the houses with ifs or buts.

The simplest solution is usually the quickest and most effective.


Speaking as a tutor myself, I nearly always acquiesce in these cases. Tutoring people who know what they want and are able to ask for it is generally a good sign because it means they are motivated and goal-oriented; those people progress fastest. I have had students with specific requests - these were generally the best students who did tons of work outside class without me ever having to ask them to do so. They were also nearly always those who scored best on exams, had the highest levels of fluency in the language and nearly always had attributes that made their language learning magnificent - and they don't have to be university educated nerds either. I once taught a girl Dutch who sat the B2 exam - and she was a US high school dropout who passed because she was dedicated, good, made sure she had the right approach and because she had worked so hard on her accent that people sometimes mistook her for Dutch. The fact she had decided, herself, that she wanted to be an au pair here and make sure her visit had tangible results was the clinching factor, never my teaching. I simply facilitated what she did.
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issemiyaki
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Re: Help - Tame my Talkative Tutor? Or Maybe Blessing in Disguise?

Postby issemiyaki » Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:27 pm

I'm getting some great responses here.

On the one hand I'm smart enough to know that I don't know everything. And my willingness to put myself in that submissive (student) position can sometimes make me vulnerable.

The reason I give some latitude to this tutor is because they can actually HEAR how I sound speaking the language, and they might know of ways to help me get better. So that is why I don't always go into these tutoring sessions thinking I have the best idea. I explain to them what I'm looking to achieve and I ask them for their input in the best way to reach this goal. Most of the times, we already agree on how to reach said goal.

There are many ways to scale a mount. I'm just one of those types of people who likes to talk it out and analyze some available options before setting out on my journey. Not just say: "Oh, this is not working for me, next!"

Also, I'm not conflicted for no reason at all. I certainly wouldn't waste my time writing and reading all this for nothing. On the one hand, I think these tutoring sessions are great BECAUSE we have this connection. I remember what my tutor says MORE because I feel we have a bond, versus this being with someone who I have no connection with. And that has happened with a few tutors and I had no problem cutting them loose.

So, I think I'll just get some courage before our next lesson and stress that I need to speak a bit more, at least 30 minutes of the one hour lesson.

I do have problems with tutors NOT giving me homework, however. As Tarvos pointed out, I am one of those students who is constantly listening to the radio, looking up words, reading newspaper articles. I don't need to be given homework. But it's more motivating to work on a project, it gives you a goal. It all helps in the long run I suppose. Maybe I will stop calling it homework and start calling them projects. Maybe that has a better ring to it. LOL.
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tarvos
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Re: Help - Tame my Talkative Tutor? Or Maybe Blessing in Disguise?

Postby tarvos » Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:35 pm

STT should be maximized.
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issemiyaki
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Re: Help - Tame my Talkative Tutor? Or Maybe Blessing in Disguise?

Postby issemiyaki » Thu Jul 13, 2017 9:46 pm

STT? What's that?
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Re: Help - Tame my Talkative Tutor? Or Maybe Blessing in Disguise?

Postby coldrainwater » Fri Jul 14, 2017 12:20 am

issemiyaki wrote:STT? What's that?

Google tells me that should mean "Student Talking Time" in this case.
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