Do you talk to strangers?

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iguanamon
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby iguanamon » Mon Jan 30, 2023 3:00 pm

Yes, but I don't just start up conversations with random people. My seatmate on transportation- plane, train, bus, ferry, boat, uber even- if they seem like they may want to talk; waiting in a cue/line/seating area, hotel lobby, again, if they seem like they want to talk; if I have some kind of a situation in common with a native-speaker like this, that's my opportunity, and I take advantage of it.

Some people will want to talk, some won't. You'll figure out which ones do and which ones don't easily enough. If your level in the TL is beyond the basics, obviously this is a huge help. Still, with a basic level of speaking and understanding and the help of "language islands" you can improve your chances of communication, learn more of the language, and maybe even make a friend or two along the way.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Le Baron » Mon Jan 30, 2023 4:44 pm

Yes and no, for reasons others have outlined above. On the whole I will take any opportunity, but you can tell if people don't want to talk, which is usually when they're trying to learn some other language. However if you know that language....

Since opportunities for speaking are few and far between for some languages I will always at least make the attempt to take that opportunity. And it's not just because of the language element or 'practise', but because it's good to meet and talk to people. Especially on foreign trips where you both might be out-of-towners or if the person is local and can suggest a much richer experience than walking about in tourist traps.

Here at home I will take the opportunity if someone is in front of me in a queue and doesn't know Dutch (very well), or e.g. if I hear some Spaniards talking at a bus stop when I'm waiting there.

It took me some time to escape from crippling introversion, so I try to make the most of it.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Sonjaconjota » Mon Jan 30, 2023 5:53 pm

I wonder if this might depend on the culture you’ve grown up with.
From snippets here and there (youtube, reality tv, what I’ve read on the internet) it seems to me that it is quite normal to have small talk with random people in the US.
I’ve grown up in Germany. People there would probably call the police if the supermarket cashier asked them about their plans for the weekend.
Here in Spain, people are more open, but even here small talk with strangers isn’t really a thing, maybe except in the case of old people who don’t really have anybody to talk to at home.
So, it would require really specific circumstances (like being able to help, as already mentioned by others) for me to overcome my social awkwardness and speak to somebody I don’t know. In any language, including my own.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Sonjaconjota » Mon Jan 30, 2023 6:07 pm

PS: By the way, I might already have mentioned this somewhere here on the forum, but one thing that Germans love to talk about are numbers and dates.
If you want to do small talk in Germany, look around you and then ask questions about the place: How many people do live in this town? How old is the church? How high is the steeple? What are the temperatures like in summer / winter? Liters of rain falling per year? Etc. These are topics most Germans are comfortable talking about, and they might be a good starting point for a longer conversation.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby jeff_lindqvist » Mon Jan 30, 2023 6:19 pm

Do you talk to strangers?

I barely talk to people I know. (True, in a way.)

-----

Seriously, I don't approach people just because they speak something that I happen to speak. Especially not if my level is a lot lower than theirs. Of course, if a patron at the library speaks one of my stronger languages, I might say something. (Actually, there is one who usually waits until I'm free - because I speak Spanish.)
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Le Baron » Mon Jan 30, 2023 6:34 pm

Sonjaconjota wrote:PS: By the way, I might already have mentioned this somewhere here on the forum, but one thing that Germans love to talk about are numbers and dates.
If you want to do small talk in Germany, look around you and then ask questions about the place: How many people do live in this town? How old is the church? How high is the steeple? What are the temperatures like in summer / winter? Liters of rain falling per year? Etc. These are topics most Germans are comfortable talking about, and they might be a good starting point for a longer conversation.

I wonder how far I could push this? Like: 'Madam, how many elephants fit into a Mini?' 'How far (in millimetres) can I push you before you cuff me round the earhole?'

To be honest that sort of discussion (yours not mine) is also quite common here.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Wayfarer » Mon Jan 30, 2023 10:28 pm

Thanks everyone for the interesting and insightful comments. It seems the general tendency is not to talk to random strangers, but with some big asterisks. Thinking about it from the other side, I think I'd feel a little confused if somebody started talking to me simply because I speak English, and that person wanted to practise. I don't think I'd be annoyed (unless he interrupted me or spoke rudely), just a little bewildered.

jeff_lindqvist wrote:I barely talk to people I know.

Hahaha! I know the feeling...

Sonjaconjota wrote:except in the case of old people who don’t really have anybody to talk to at home

There might be potential for cooperation there. Language schools and nursing homes could work together. Elderly folk who have a whole lifetime of experience and stories would make wonderful speaking partners for language learners. Everybody would benefit.

Sonjaconjota wrote:I might already have mentioned this somewhere here on the forum, but one thing that Germans love to talk about are numbers and dates.

Thanks! That's good to know. Where I come from it's the weather. Always a safe topic.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Wayfarer » Mon Jan 30, 2023 10:46 pm

allf100 wrote:Though we didn't talk too long, this experience greatly helped me and give me much of confidence!

Thanks! That's a really nice story. And it's a reminder of how our actions can influence others. If they had been rude or dismissive, you would have gone away feeling very differently about English.

rdearman wrote:Recently I travelled to Milan for the sole and only reason to speak Italian with strangers... I will talk to anyone but my only restriction is if the are busy or working.

I like the commitment! And I think that's a good restriction.

iguanamon wrote:Some people will want to talk, some won't... with a basic level of speaking and understanding and the help of "language islands" you can improve your chances of communication

Very true. If we do speak to strangers, we shouldn't take it personally if they aren't interested. That's a very useful thread on 'language islands'. It certainly fits in with what I've been thinking about. I said already that maybe I should script the things I know for certain I'd say at a first encounter (personal information, why I'm learning the language, etc.), and memorize the script. That Shekhtman sounds like a character:

“On another day,” Mr. Taubman said, “Boris reached into his briefcase and pulled out a real pistol, pointed it at me and started shouting in Russian, ‘Communicate, or die!’”
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Iversen » Mon Jan 30, 2023 11:01 pm

In a few cases I have had sneaky persons approach me 'to practice their English', and then they started to play guides and at the end expected payment for their services. I have learnt to spot them at an early stage and tell them that I don't need a guide. I may have been too negative in some cases with truly helpful people who just approached me without any clear reason (or actually to train their English without any hidden agenda), but so be it. I can't stand tricksters, and the world isn't perfect for any of us.

On the other hand I have had long conversations that started out of nothing with people who didn't actually approach me, but just were there - IF there just was a reason to start that conversation and IF I actually was able to speak the language. I'm much less distrustful about people who don't impose their presence upon me, but just are out there in the universe like I am. And maybe I just expect honest people to have the same mentality.

I have sometimes seen pushy restaurant or shop owners stand in the doors in order to attract more customers. That's one certain way to keep me from entering their establishment!
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby rdearman » Mon Jan 30, 2023 11:49 pm

I do remember reading about a guy who was learning Mandarin, (admittedly he was in China at the time) but he would target bored people. For example, he said that he spent hours speaking to the nigh-shift attendant (security guard?) at a car park. Said they would sit in the little shack for hours while sipping tea and chatting away in Mandarin. The guy was super happy to have someone to talk to during what would normally be a boring shift, and gave corrections and advice willingly.

I really wish I could find that blog again.
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