Do you talk to strangers?

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Sae
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Sae » Tue Jan 31, 2023 12:00 am

I don't unless the situation comes up. And that situation has only been "I'm in Germany and can speak very broken German".

With my other languages, I don't get an opportunity, but I am at a stage with my Vietnamese where I should and I know there are apps/communities for these and should just do it. Whilst I practice conversation with my tutor, but not everybody is going to speak the language the same way. But I am the introverted sort, so I tend to be inclined to steer from it unless I am in the right frame of mind. But I know my Vietnamese needs it because though my conversations with my tutor are going well, he introduced me to his nephew in Vietnamese and started talking and I was slow to understand him and could think of anything ask/say to get a conversation going. But more exposure to that, I will get over it.

But if so early on, I think it's good you want to try and talk it out. I think my worries are that yes, I don't want to bother them or to make them a guinea pig of my language practices or push them into it...or be one like one of those social media linguists with "local man surprises Chinese in Italian restaurant with flawless Finnish".

But at the same time, I'd not be bothered with somebody coming up to me to practice their English, I'd be more inclined to want to help out...in fact, I think that happened to me in Germany once, but my German wasn't very good, his English wasn't either and we managed to speak a pidgin of the two and it was actually kinda fun.


But either way, if you're worried, maybe check out online communities or find people willing to practice with you, or book sessions on iTalki for it if you can spare a fee, else there's apps like HelloTalk and Tandem.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Gaoling97 » Tue Jan 31, 2023 2:05 am

No. One, because I am just a shy and introverted person in general. Two, because I really don't think the conversation is likely to help me very much.

And three, this is a very sensitive issue for me: I don't think I have a right to. I think every person has a right, by default, to be addressed in the language of the country in which they live, to be treated the same way as everybody else. I guess you can always ask, but this is still an unnecessary imposition on the other person IMO.

I live in China. I usually speak to my girlfriend in public in Chinese (to a large degree because of this), but sometimes we speak to each other in English. When other people see this, this, somehow, is treated as an invitation to speak to me in English. As if talking to somebody in my own private, intimate relationship in English is the same as speaking to any random person in English. This is in addition to the randos who think any white person in China is free conversation practice for them, girlfriend or no.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Wayfarer » Tue Jan 31, 2023 6:31 am

rdearman wrote:I really wish I could find that blog again.

If you can find it, please share. I'd definitely be interested in reading :)
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby anitarrc » Thu Feb 09, 2023 7:33 am

rdearman wrote:I do remember reading about a guy who was learning Mandarin, (admittedly he was in China at the time) but he would target bored people. For example, he said that he spent hours speaking to the nigh-shift attendant (security guard?) at a car park. Said they would sit in the little shack for hours while sipping tea and chatting away in Mandarin. The guy was super happy to have someone to talk to during what would normally be a boring shift, and gave corrections and advice willingly.

I really wish I could find that blog again.


I can totally relate to that. Last week, I had to hang around an airport for 7 1/2 hours. So, I learned more about the Peruvian and Ecuadorian dialect, about the use or absence of voseo, Argentinian and Mexican. Some French thrown in. On the plane, I became the designated translator for a French lady. We chatted for hours about the impact of tourism and more. Later, in Amsterdam, I chatted for a while in BR-PT and had fun trying to understand some Italians at high speed.

On long bus trips (to Managua or Ciudad de Panamá) I learned many new terms about plants and health.. medical stuff and a wealth of other subjects that don't come up in my line of work.

Storytelling is also great for recovery truck trips with the boss. Like a long yarn about a trip in a Land Rover to El Salvador in 1974 when he was 17. Or on your daily commute to work. Try to understand folks from Cabo Verde (sortof PT) is a good example
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby kelvin921019 » Wed Feb 15, 2023 2:27 am

No, because I'm an introvert, I don't even talk to strangers in my native language
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby lavengro » Wed Feb 15, 2023 3:06 am

Wayfarer wrote:Do you talk to strangers?

I talk to strangers often, 'cause I am Canadian and that's what we do (whether the strangers want it or not). Always if they have candy. Almost always if I see them walking a dog (or that weird guy who walks a cat on a leash). Reluctantly, and just to say "Sorry" and "I'll be leaving now" upon waking up hung-over if I have stumbled in a drunken stupor into the wrong house the night before.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby anitarrc » Wed Feb 15, 2023 12:51 pm

lavengro wrote:I talk to strangers often, 'cause I am Canadian and that's what we do (whether the strangers want it or not). Always if they have candy. Almost always if I see them walking a dog (or that weird guy who walks a cat on a leash). ...


Thank you. that explains why I often chat to Canadians while in Costa Rica. Most of them love to natter in French with me. They are never paranoid and always up for a joke.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby garyb » Wed Feb 15, 2023 7:59 pm

I don't usually, unless I get very clear signals that they're up for speaking or it's a situation where it's "normal" like with fellow travellers in hostels. I'm quite happy to speak if they start the conversation, though.

I realise this is very much to my detriment as a language learner, and the type who is actually keen speak their languages. There have been times when I have done it, or someone has spoken to me, and it's turned into a pleasant conversation or a very interesting night or even a friendship. And I've met other language learners who have just been happy to speak to anyone and seen how quickly their speaking skills developed - perhaps not in terms of grammatical accuracy, but certainly in the more practical and important abilities to express their thoughts and be functional.

Sure, my introversion might give me the advantage of happily being able to sit and learn verb conjugations and get lots of input, but I don't think that compensates for being outgoing enough to speak at every opportunity. But the grass is always greener on the other side! Learners like the ones I've described have been envious of my understanding of how the language works.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby galaxyrocker » Wed Feb 15, 2023 8:36 pm

This has actually been one of my New Years Resolutions this year. To speak to more strangers, even if just a simple comment about the weather. I had an experience last year where a man asked me for directions and then we just kept talking cause we were going the same direction. It was just super interesting hearing about him and talking to him, and it really changed my mind to that. I've actually come to the belief that we're losing something that makes us human by not seeking out talking and some basic connection with strangers and instead being buried in our phones the entire time.

Now I've tried to put it to use with Irish more - anytime I see someone alone at the Irish speaking bar in Dublin, I go up to speak to them and introduce myself and then invite them to join our conversation group. It's led to some great conversations, like just last week meeting a guy who ended up playing the bagpipes for us in full regal outfit. I think those serendipitous occasions are part of what makes life worthwhile, and I've noticed how they do always seem to help me feel better mentally as well.
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Re: Do you talk to strangers?

Postby Saim » Sun Feb 26, 2023 9:37 am

galaxyrocker wrote:This has actually been one of my New Years Resolutions this year. To speak to more strangers, even if just a simple comment about the weather. I had an experience last year where a man asked me for directions and then we just kept talking cause we were going the same direction. It was just super interesting hearing about him and talking to him, and it really changed my mind to that. I've actually come to the belief that we're losing something that makes us human by not seeking out talking and some basic connection with strangers and instead being buried in our phones the entire time.


I've had similar experiences to you and am also trying to get better at it. COVID-19 lockdowns was a bit of a wake-up call in this regard, it helped me realise how much I crave these kinds of encounters. I think it's become a bit of a lost art as we spend more and more time online.

It's also true that being able to reliably strike up conversations with strangers makes you feel a lot more socially connected, especially if you move cities a lot. If you're in a new city and have to rely entirely on typical channels to build up your social circle you have to expect a lot more time feeling lonely. If you can hit the ground running and get to know your neighbors, talk to people in line at the supermarket, or in bars (and not just at specific networking events for "expats"...), it makes your life a lot easier.
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