issemiyaki wrote:I just heard this voice in my head: “You sound terrible.”
Oh, I know this one! An old friend, tell them I said hi!
Now seriously: yes, we can sometimes hear ourselves underperforming. Yes, it is very unpleasant. But is not the end of the world. It doesn't predict how well you'll do next time.
I had this sinking feeling: “It’s going to take me YEARS to get better.”
Yes and no. Yes, it will take years to get to a very solid level. But you can be a bit better in a week. And then again a bit better the week after that. And so on.
my performance before a live native speaker was subpar.
Aaaaaand here we can clearly see one of the reasons, why I believe practicing speaking with other people asap is overrated and can even be harmful at times.
The native is not your ultimate judge, they don't matter as much as you think they do. Practice is in general good, but don't let it teach you anxiety.
Maybe I’m expecting too much after just 90 days.
Perhaps. One of the things that really improve with time and studying and practice is reliability. It's not just about learning to use more words, more grammar, speak in more situations, understand more % of the content, etc. It is about being able to rely on your skills more on more. Your bad moments becoming overall better, your good moments leaving enough of a margin for added difficulties (like stress or fatigue).
Having a bad performance moment after 90 days is totally normal.
They paint language learning as “fun,” like we’re at the beach enjoying a vacation. But people don’t see the psychological toll that comes with this undertaking.
Who are "they"? Many people paint language learning as torture
So, you are still pretty much of an optimist and sunshine here.
Yes, there is psychological toll to any learning. Any test (objective or self imposed). Any failure (no matter what the expectations are). We learn our whole lives to deal with that.
BeaP wrote:If you're doing controlled practice of the Uncovered Russian course, and your tutor doesn't understand what you say, why are you so sure that Uncovered Russian is a great course? Maybe it doesn't put enough emphasis on pronunciation.
Also, Olly Richards and your tutor are not helping you, you're giving them money for a service. It's normal to analyse our own shortcomings, but you can't blame everything on yourself. If you're demotivated after a session, maybe it's a good idea to talk about this with the tutor. It's absolutely possible that they will lift your mood with a couple of sentences or give you some practical advice that helps you to improve. Teaching is about trust. You can show your resource to the tutor and maybe they'll come up with the reason why the controlled practice doesn't work. There's a chance that only with a small adjustment things can get better.
Language learning is like a beach vacation only for those who are learning the language in an immersion environment on the beach.
I agree with BeaP here. Is the tutor also teaching you better pronunciation? Are they making sure you'll be understood next time? If they are not, they are horrible at the job. Which is rather common. Most teachers are bad at pronunciation teaching. I can recommend Speechling for pronunciation training. Both for the visual clue on where you are different, but above all for the paid service, where you get intensive and spot on feedback on pronunciation. I think they have Russian. They are better than anyone else I've ever tried, and the platform doesn't allow them to waste your time on anything else.
Also, I haven't tried the Uncovered courses yet. They might be very good, I don't know. But I find that it often helps to learn grammar more thoroughly. Especially for speaking. So, an extra workbook can sometimes help too. It was a miracle especially for my German (and trust me, that has been no beach vacation for me either!)
issemiyaki wrote:So, when my tutor speaks to me SLOWLY, yes, I can understand him, if he's using simple sentences.
Sounds like a solid listening skill for a beginner 3 months in! Keep listening. Relisten to your course material many times, people underestimate that all the time! And keep listening.