zjones wrote: I think I used romanticize other cultures too, especially European ones. It wasn't until I started speaking with French people that I realized "Oh, I kind of don't like X about their culture..." and "My culture has X and X that I really enjoy." I have a lot more objectivity when I'm looking at other cultures, andI'm still not anywhere near correct, I'm sure, but I've stopped disparaging my own culture and romanticizing everyone else's.
Yes, the cultural shock can happen even in your own home, if your initial romantisation is too far from the harsh reality. I've found plenty of things I dislike about the french culture, it is normal. And most of them before going to Erasmus. So, very little cultural shock there, I was ready, and I think the realistic expectations were healthy. Seeing those things hasn't diminished the importance of the stuff I love about the french culture at all, quite the opposite. I think it is like the difference between having a crush on someone inacessible (like a movie star) and loving a person. I don't get the second part though. I hate the czech "culture" so much that it's one of the reasons why I don't want to be a doctor here. People thought I'd start loving it during my Erasmus, but nope. So, I don't think it is so universal, to romaniticise others and not see one's own qualities.
Actually, I've also met lots of people who were not romanticising other cultures at all, which lead to not having much interest in them at all. Perhaps that is a problem too
But the individual differences are huge and I also think the other direction comes in play. It's not just about your expectations. Your LEs were talking to their English LE, and I think this problem is not only yours, reading some of the experiences in this thread. English is always an exception. I guess you may have encountered people, who were not romanticising your culture at all. They may not have been too curious about stuff outside of their already known world and interests. You could have met mostly people, who were learning just because of obligation and to get more money and better jobs. Learning about your interests that can't be monetised may simply not have been part of the plan. And that says nothing about you and your interests!
It is absolutely normal for non anglophones to invest a lot in learning English. Time, and money, and efforts. But genuine fascination cannot be faked. I have never thought about this before, truth be told. As a Czech native, I cannot find anyone for LE, because nobody with the native languages I need cares about it. But an English native may struggle to find someone, who would actually have the qualities we associate with language learning in this community, above all the curiosity and desire to leave our comfort zone.
Also, the anglophone cultures are everywhere in the media, in the tv series, in the newspapers. There is very little left to be romanticised.
I guess that your problem with finding suitable LEs could immediately go away with a bit of luck or with lots of searching.
So regarding the last part of your post, I am in the mindset of "I need to speak more to improve". I want to speak French without too many errors, and I'm in the situation where my speaking skills are lagging pretty far behind my reading, writing and listening skills. I've been putting myself through introvert h*ll and it's starting to affect my daily happiness, especially if I have a bad exchange at 9am. But I've been told that the only way to speak better is to speak to other people a lot. Are you saying that I shouldn't worry too much about conversation, or that there are other ways to improve it? Do you have any suggestions?
As far as my language exchanges, I'm waving goodbye to people who constantly leave me feeling drained and anxious. I still have a handful of WONDERFUL French exchange partners, the rare kinds of people who I can call my friends.
No, it is not the only way! And if it is affecting you in such a manner, it is most probably not worth it. Really, I didn't have to speak to other people at various phases of learning. It is not necessary. It can be postponed till better opportunities arise.
You've found a few friends through LE, that is awesome! Stick to them, don't force yourself to something very unpleasant.
Really, the myth that "you can only improve speaking by speaking" is extremely harmful. You are doing a lot of other helpful activities, but it takes time to see the results. Speaking is useful, but not at all costs.