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Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:49 pm
by Brun Ugle
Lawyer&Mom wrote:I’ve definitely noticed I feel more Autistic as I get older. More sensory sensitivity, more fatigue with communication... I don’t have any answers, but I think it helps to add more structure to my day. Even more routine! Lessens the cognitive load and let’s me focus a bit more on the things that matter to me. And you know, focusing on the usual self care: Sleep, vitamins, hydration, mild exercise... The hardest part is just accepting that I’m not high energy, and just trying to make the most of it.

I assume from your user name that you are a lawyer. How do you manage that while being autistic? I used to be an auditor. Maybe it might possibly have been OK if I'd worked for the government or a small, relaxed company, but I was working for one of the "Big Four" and it was too cut-throat and stressful. It completely destroyed me. Not to mention how incredibly boring it was!

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:50 pm
by Brun Ugle
I’m still dealing with fatigue. It’s been a regular feature of my life these last few years, but it just seems to get worse as I get older, and some periods are even worse than that. Right now is typical. I have a few hours in the morning when I’m awake and I use those for going to the gym and exercising. Then I spend much of the afternoon in a zombie-like state. I can’t usually nap, but I’m too tired and mentally absent to do much of anything. Then around 5:30 or 6:00 in the evening, I wake up again and that’s when I usually do most of my study. I usually try to turn off screens and just read from about 8:30 or 9:00 at night to make it easier to sleep, but it doesn’t seem to help. I feel like I might get more rest at night (I sleep, but I don’t rest) if I didn’t spend half the day in a daze. I cancelled on my language exchange partner last Saturday because I was so tired, and I don’t really want to have to talk tomorrow either, but I can’t keep cancelling. I only ended up with a language partner because I forgot to set my Italki profile to invisible and she contacted me and for some reason I thought, “Why not?” Well, now I remember why I don’t do a lot of language exchanges. I don’t really enjoy talking about nothing to people I don’t really know in languages I don’t really know. I still struggle to speak German (even if Zenmonkey tries to claim that I’m B2 :roll: ), and when I’m tired I become completely incoherent. Moreover, I’m usually too tired to care and I just sit there sputtering random and made-up words and wondering why I put myself through this torture.

Being so tired and having to figure out how to organize my day so that I schedule the activities requiring a brain for the hours when I actually have one, has made me think a bit about how I study languages. Maybe those people that say you should learn one language to a reasonably comfortable level and only then start a new one have a bit of a point. It probably would be a lot easier to make progress if I were only doing one language. On the other hand, I don’t want to give up any of my languages and backslide even more.

I’ve also been thinking a bit about the Polyglot Gathering and how I’d like my German to be comfortable enough to use there. So, I think for the next couple of months, I’m going to make German my focus language. I’ll try to spend at least 45 minutes a day doing “real study” such as my grammar workbook, FSI, maybe some online grammar exercises or GLOSS, writing and speaking. TV-watching and reading books comes in addition and can be done when I’m less alert. I might even try some Italki lessons, but only if I start to feel more awake. It’s really hard to schedule a lesson when you don’t know when your brain will be available.

My Spanish is not exactly comfortable, but it is pretty functional so I think I can safely slide it onto a back burner until after the Gathering. Actually, I think at this point the best thing to do with Spanish would be massive input, especially reading. That would increase my vocabulary and give me a better feel for the language. I did a good bit of reading aloud during the 6WC and that really improved my ability to wrap my tongue around the words. Spanish words seem to have a high syllable-density or something, and I used to stumble over them, but now I can read much more smoothly. I still read aloud sometimes because I feel it’s very helpful, but I mostly read silently because it’s much faster and I want to finish this book I’ve been reading since forever. I always read really slowly when starting a new book if I’m not familiar with the characters and this book took a long time to get into. It might be half a notch above my level in terms of vocabulary, but I think the main problem was that it has a whole lot of characters and the story hopped from one character to another every few pages and after ten hops it was back to the first character, but I’d forgotten who he was by that time since I was reading so slowly. Anyway, somewhere in the middle, things started to get clear for me and I started to get “into” the book and that made it easier to read faster. And now I’m trying to read extra fast because I decided to join the April book club since they’re doing a book I’d been planning to read in any case and it’s originally in Spanish. Anyway, I ordered the book from another library and it came faster than I thought, so I’m probably going to have to try to start and finish a little early in case I have to return it before the end of April. I don’t want to be reading two books in Spanish at the same time, so, I’m trying to rush through the current one. Anyway, reading and TV can be done when I’m too tired for real study, but too awake to sleep. I should probably do a bit of writing and some recordings too, or else I’ll risk getting rusty. My Spanish still rusts pretty fast.

Japanese will continue on the back burner as planned until I’m finished with the kanji and my current Anki deck. I’m not making much progress on the kanji lately because of being too tired, but I seem to manage to squeeze Anki in either early enough or late enough in the day such that I’m making good progress. I think I will be ready to move Japanese into a new phase by next year, providing my German is somewhat comfortable by then. I’m not exactly sure what that phase will be yet, but we’ll see.

So, the plan for the next two months is:
German: grammar and real work, including speaking and writing, during alert times and otherwise a bit of reading and TV
Spanish: mostly reading, some TV, weekly chats with Zenmonkey and at least occasional recordings and writing
Japanese: Anki and RTK and occasional TV

And then, of course, after a couple of nights of staying out drinking with Rick, Dave and Zenmonkey, I’ll have forgotten all the languages before the Gathering even begins --- just like every year.

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 5:44 pm
by Lawyer&Mom
Brun Ugle wrote:
Lawyer&Mom wrote:I’ve definitely noticed I feel more Autistic as I get older. More sensory sensitivity, more fatigue with communication... I don’t have any answers, but I think it helps to add more structure to my day. Even more routine! Lessens the cognitive load and let’s me focus a bit more on the things that matter to me. And you know, focusing on the usual self care: Sleep, vitamins, hydration, mild exercise... The hardest part is just accepting that I’m not high energy, and just trying to make the most of it.

I assume from your user name that you are a lawyer. How do you manage that while being autistic? I used to be an auditor. Maybe it might possibly have been OK if I'd worked for the government or a small, relaxed company, but I was working for one of the "Big Four" and it was too cut-throat and stressful. It completely destroyed me. Not to mention how incredibly boring it was!


Small, relaxed government agency. And it’s still stressful. (But not boring!)

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 6:22 pm
by Radioclare
Brun Ugle wrote:I used to be an auditor. Maybe it might possibly have been OK if I'd worked for the government or a small, relaxed company, but I was working for one of the "Big Four" and it was too cut-throat and stressful. It completely destroyed me. Not to mention how incredibly boring it was!


I had no idea you used to be an auditor! I've been an auditor for 13 years now (though not Big 4 - think 5, or 6 depending on the list). I can confirm it is still cut-throat, stressful and incredibly boring :lol:

I hope things get better for you with your fatigue!

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:01 pm
by Brun Ugle
Radioclare wrote:
Brun Ugle wrote:I used to be an auditor. Maybe it might possibly have been OK if I'd worked for the government or a small, relaxed company, but I was working for one of the "Big Four" and it was too cut-throat and stressful. It completely destroyed me. Not to mention how incredibly boring it was!


I had no idea you used to be an auditor! I've been an auditor for 13 years now (though not Big 4 - think 5, or 6 depending on the list). I can confirm it is still cut-throat, stressful and incredibly boring :lol:

I hope things get better for you with your fatigue!

Being an auditor was not intentional on my part. I just sort of fell into it. I enjoyed the parts with numbers. It was the boring meetings and that they always tried to push me on selling that I hated. Also, so many auditors are so extremely square. I always had to explain my jokes. And I don’t usually have to explain them to most people. I don’t use much nerd-humor on regular people. I try to keep things simple.

Actually, it can’t be auditors that are so square because I later worked at the tax office for a little while and the auditors there were mostly pretty OK. I even convinced one of them to study Esperanto for a while, though it didn’t last long.

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:19 pm
by Lawyer&Mom
Brun Ugle wrote:
Radioclare wrote:
Brun Ugle wrote:I used to be an auditor. Maybe it might possibly have been OK if I'd worked for the government or a small, relaxed company, but I was working for one of the "Big Four" and it was too cut-throat and stressful. It completely destroyed me. Not to mention how incredibly boring it was!


I had no idea you used to be an auditor! I've been an auditor for 13 years now (though not Big 4 - think 5, or 6 depending on the list). I can confirm it is still cut-throat, stressful and incredibly boring :lol:

I hope things get better for you with your fatigue!

Being an auditor was not intentional on my part. I just sort of fell into it. I enjoyed the parts with numbers. It was the boring meetings and that they always tried to push me on selling that I hated. Also, so many auditors are so extremely square. I always had to explain my jokes. And I don’t usually have to explain them to most people. I don’t use much nerd-humor on regular people. I try to keep things simple.

Actually, it can’t be auditors that are so square because I later worked at the tax office for a little while and the auditors there were mostly pretty OK. I even convinced one of them to study Esperanto for a while, though it didn’t last long.


I think the Big 4 can attract a certain go-getter/sales personality type, that is not terribly comparable with Autism. I work with some great accountants in my job and they *totally* get me. Government can be a better fit for smart and quirky people of all kinds. (But pick the right agency! Cultures can, um, vary...)

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 8:08 pm
by Brun Ugle
Lawyer&Mom wrote:
Brun Ugle wrote:
Radioclare wrote:
Brun Ugle wrote:I used to be an auditor. Maybe it might possibly have been OK if I'd worked for the government or a small, relaxed company, but I was working for one of the "Big Four" and it was too cut-throat and stressful. It completely destroyed me. Not to mention how incredibly boring it was!


I had no idea you used to be an auditor! I've been an auditor for 13 years now (though not Big 4 - think 5, or 6 depending on the list). I can confirm it is still cut-throat, stressful and incredibly boring :lol:

I hope things get better for you with your fatigue!

Being an auditor was not intentional on my part. I just sort of fell into it. I enjoyed the parts with numbers. It was the boring meetings and that they always tried to push me on selling that I hated. Also, so many auditors are so extremely square. I always had to explain my jokes. And I don’t usually have to explain them to most people. I don’t use much nerd-humor on regular people. I try to keep things simple.

Actually, it can’t be auditors that are so square because I later worked at the tax office for a little while and the auditors there were mostly pretty OK. I even convinced one of them to study Esperanto for a while, though it didn’t last long.


I think the Big 4 can attract a certain go-getter/sales personality type, that is not terribly comparable with Autism. I work with some great accountants in my job and they *totally* get me. Government can be a better fit for smart and quirky people of all kinds. (But pick the right agency! Cultures can, um, vary...)

After I had to quit there, I did work part time at the tax office for a while. I really liked it a lot, but I wasn’t in any kind of shape to work at all by that time. I only worked three half days a week, but I was nearly fainting by the end of my half day and frequently had to suddenly sit or even lie down on the floor to avoid fainting. I’m at least better than that now.

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 10:26 pm
by Lawyer&Mom
I’m lying on the floor as I read this... was feeling a bit light headed after I hit send on some final documents... yikes!

Glad to know you are feeling a bit better now. Let me know your secret if you find a miracle fix for fatigue!

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Thu Mar 28, 2019 8:18 pm
by Brun Ugle
I finally figured out what was making me so tired, I think. I tend to be a bit low energy to begin with, but this was extreme. I was so tired, I couldn’t do anything and had even lost all interest in studying languages toward the end of last week. On Saturday, I woke up so exhausted I couldn’t face having a language exchange that evening and I thought my lack of interest in everything meant I was getting depressed. I decided to try to cut some of the stress factors in my life, including the language exchange and that made me feel a little better. But I was still exhausted and had no interest in anything. Then I started getting a headache. Once I started feeling properly sick, I realized what the real problem was. It was that virus (or whatever it is) again! I think this is the third time it’s got me just this year. If it comes back again, I should probably go to the doctor. It’s very strange, because I just feel gradually more and more exhausted without feeling at all sick until after a week or two and then I get a headache and feel a little strange, for a few days. Then it goes away and I feel great for one day, then it comes back for a day and then it goes away for a day and so on, until eventually it goes away for real.

Fortunately, I got better on Tuesday afternoon, just in time to Skype with Zenmonkey. This time I had a brain again and chattered away for the first half-hour in German and the next in Spanish and had almost no problems expressing myself in either language. My German was still messy, but was once again pretty fluent. I even asked Zenmonkey if he didn’t notice the difference. My German had barely seemed like A2 the week before and now it was back to what he claims is B2 (though I think B2 probably requires a bit more awareness/use of grammar than I usually manage). He agreed the difference was like night and day. Anyway, I was really happy to realize that I wasn’t getting depressed and I was just sick, which meant I might get well soon, and after our chat, I was full of energy and desire to study.

Then on Wednesday, 24 hours after getting well, I got sick again. I was suddenly extremely tired, the headache came back, my stomach felt weird and my brain turned to porridge. Now after another 24 hours, I feel pretty OK again, but I’m being careful. I’ve decided to give up on all my study plans, exercise plans and plans in general because every time I make plans, the Fates seem to be determined to destroy them. Now, I’m just going to do whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it and see how that goes.

I’ve been having a bit of fun with Clozemaster again lately. The rounds are so short that it is easy to pick it up just to do a quick round, but then it says, “dah dah dah daaah” and I have to do another round. For some reason, German is especially fun on Clozemaster. And it really seems to help my German. It forces me to notices the details of case and gender and so on to figure out the word that goes in the blank. Clozemaster in Japanese is not much fun though. I think it’s because it is such a pain to type the words. However, I almost never get anything wrong in Japanese because I have it set to tell me if only two letters are wrong so I can fix it. That’s a very useful feature in Spanish and German and probably most languages because it’s easy to end up with typos when you have a tiny phone and fat thumbs, but in Japanese, there often aren’t more than two characters in the word, so even if I get it wrong, I can keep trying forever.

Did I mention that I finished that weird book I’d been reading in Spanish? Well, I did. It was OK, but I didn’t think it was great. It was self-published and I think maybe he could have used an editor or somebody, although he clearly did have people to proofread it, unlike some self-published authors I’ve read. It was fairly good, it was just a bit heavy going and confusing in places. Part of it, of course, could be my less than perfect Spanish and that I read the book rather slowly and was reading a bunch of other books at the same time. However, the reviews on Goodreads were also very mixed, so it wasn’t just me. I’ve just barely started the April book club book and it’s already wonderful. The author has a way with words and even after only three chapters, I’m completely hooked and can just tell it’s going to be a good book.

I really need to finish the German book too. It’s a Star Trek book, but even so, I’m getting a bit tired of it after having been reading for so long. I think next, I will either read something very good, but not to difficult, like another Michael Ende children’s book or find something just completely trashy like a romance novel that I can read quickly and easily. I feel like I need a few easy fast books to get my German level up. I wish I liked German TV better. I still have a few episodes left of the show I’m watching, but then I’ll have to find something else and it’s so hard.

Re: Brun Ugle の mehrsprachige bitácora (NO, ES, DE, JA) 2019

Posted: Thu Mar 28, 2019 8:38 pm
by DaveAgain
Brun Ugle wrote: I wish I liked German TV better. I still have a few episodes left of the show I’m watching, but then I’ll have to find something else and it’s so hard.
I still can't really understand German well enough for TV, but exploring a little I came across one (comedy-drama?) I liked called "Drei Damen vom Grill": A grand-mother, daughter and grand-daughter start up a snack-bar business. (Germans appear to be very fond of sausages! :-))

A documentary programme I sometimes watch is "nordreportage"