Tea With Tarvos - Tarvos' Log 2019

[tarvos]

Yeah well, they were strange times. In those days my depression wasn't as massive, so I am sure I had more time to do what I was supposed to do. And conquering Russian in 24 months... hrrrm. I'm not certain about it, but what I do know is that by the end of my travels in Russia I was socially competent in the language. But it was only a few years later that I really felt I could do anything in Russian, that wasn't the case back then, although I am very sure I had a good level at the time. (I know because I have friendships from that time that still exist, and they have always been through Russian).

I actually just finished my first Mandarin book today, although it was a graded reader and too easy (taking a more difficult book next time, only picked up like 10 new words or so). I even recognized all these characters. Clearly I'm not that bad at Mandarin as I think though.

I'm very happy people are inspired by the old log, although I look back on my mistakes with a mixture of nostalgia, hatred and unease. But that may just be because even in the years before the transition, I had already begun my downward descent into madness. When I look back at what I did, the real happiness is in achieving what I did despite the myriad obstacles I had to overcome (and they were predominantly non-linguistic obstacles). I am much more proud of my Mandarin than I am of some other languages because the external factors and stress were massive.

Speaking six languages is not a pipe dream (speaking as someone who has studied all the languages you mentioned and is pretty fluent in 4-5 of them; the only language I am not confident in on that list is Korean). But it does take exorbitant amounts of time, and I *have* had the luxury of growing up with several languages young.

One thing I never have done though is thought about what my native languages are and seen them as an excuse for not learning something. I always figured that if I could do one then I could do the other. Perhaps it'd take me somewhat longer, but we're in this for the long haul and many other things. My linguistic achievements don't trump the social or life goals I had at the time.

[eido]

One thing I never have done though is thought about what my native languages are and seen them as an excuse for not learning something.

Unfortunately I am the type of ignorant slob (or worse) whose mind has had this cross it. I am however of the sort who thinks a second language is requisite. So...

[tarvos]

This log has now passed 50.000 views. I think it's weird that so many people read my log, but hey, if you all find some nugget of wisdom in my ramblings, be my guest. Maybe when I get to 100.000 views there will be a special surprise for all my trusty followers

[tarvos]

I'm still alive and breathing, I think that's the best result that could have come out of this weekend because I wasn't sure I was going to make it.

I hope I can finally get some positivity in now though.

[brilliantyears]

That sounds rough I hope things get better for you!

[Bunnychu]

I'm still alive and breathing, I think that's the best result that could have come out of this weekend because I wasn't sure I was going to make it.

I hope I can finally get some positivity in now though.

As you said depression hits everyone differently. As much as everyone will say there's a brighter tomorrow it doesn't come easily. You have to be your best friend and work hard to get through this. What I found helpful is changing my perspective and have a more objective overview over my situation. When you're depressed everything seems worse than it actually is. Try to have a 3rd person point of view and imagine what you'd do if that person was your best friend.
Stay strong, please!

[tarvos]

Yeah that's a thing we'll probably address in therapy. For everyone wondering, all this makes language learning harder than split ergativity ever will

[tarvos]

Having a little recording fun. I haven't really had anyone check my German pronunciation in ages (not that it's immeasurably bad - it's probably quite good even, but still, definitely not one of my best languages for pronunciation).

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1jO9fXb5eq7

Do share in the log if you think there's something I should improve on. I know I occasionally screw up a vowel but they are more slips I think than something really consistently awful.

[renaissancemedici]

I can't judge your pronunciation, but you inspired me to use recordings myself.

[tarvos]

A slight bit of normality is returning to my health right now. I'm still stressed out as all hell and it's very easy for me to get anxious and depressed, but the past three days (excluding this morning and Monday morning) have been just fine. I really need to take it way more easy on myself, because I'm one of those people that whips herself if she doesn't do what she thinks is necessary (even when it's completely unrealistic). But I have been able to do more reading, though actually studying grammar or doing mentally intense tasks is very very tiring. I am reading Tintenherz right now, which is very easy for me as it's rather simple German and German is not a language I have trouble reading at all.

(That's also the reason I picked it. Trying to read something like that in Korean would give me the heebiejeebies).

Apart from that, I am thinking whether I should actually start adding another language to my fluent list when I recover and what language that should be. I have a whole host of semi-languages to choose from, although I have significantly improved my Icelandic so it probably won't be that one. I've already worked with Korean this year and I don't really want to do that much with it right now, so I'll just see what I end up feeling like doing.