Tea With Tarvos - Tarvos' Log 2019

[tarvos]

Don't worry, I am not quite silly enough to attempt that. Spanish is difficult enough for me and people say I'm amazing at that.

[tarvos]

Screw Japanese for the moment, though. Finnish is better. <3

[tarvos]

Also, a little note: when I do Finnish, I get explanations in Swedish. This is completely fine for me as I speak Swedish so well (I'd say near C2 level) that I don't have any trouble with that.

[tarvos]

about self-harm in Swedish

[tarvos]

I haven't done much if at all over the past week, except finish La Templanza finally. And the past couple days have been spent being fairly depressed again (especially today has been shit). So I haven't been productive whatsoever with anything. That's okay. I am obviously still sick and need more time to recover, but it's just a very frustrating recovery process.

[tarvos]

some short poetry in Spanish

It's very difficult for me to write my normal long form, epic poetry in Spanish. In English, I find this easy and it comes naturally to me to do so. But it's six in the morning, I can't sleep, and I have to write something here anyway, because I feel like dying otherwise. So here's a poem in Spanish, and yes, it's not very cheery (it's about suicide and that's a topic I am sadly all too familiar with).

But I do want to explain something about how my poetry works. Normally, I don't have long, epic sessions where I write poetry and reconsider lines until the end of time. My poetry has to flow from beginning to end. I normally write my works in under 30 minutes, except some of the very large pieces (usually the ones that involve a more complex storyline). And this poem in Spanish sprouted from a similar seed: one line I read in "La Templanza" that stuck with me, namely one where the protagonist leaves his hometown of Mexico City and his apoderado advises him not to hang himself to hang himself from the first tree he encounters (i.e. to destroy himself by investing poorly at the first opportunity he gets).

But I felt like I could do something with the rhythm of that line, and ran with it. Yes, the lines are very cynical, and that's typical of how I work. (Most of my poetry features brutal deaths, sad suicides, lonely characters and ghost stories.) But when I am emotional, that's the type of misery that comes out.

[tarvos]

czech radio magazine!

Finally, there is now a recording of me speaking Czech on Czech radio (pre-recorded interview done in Brno during the Polygloti se nebifluji conference. They cut out most of the interview, but I speak Czech in it. The bit is from 10:03 onwards until 14:40 or so. They announce me by name.

[tarvos]

Have been feeling under the weather again, this isn't really helping with my productivity with regards to anything! I'm pretty much exhausted all day and feel like lying in bed, although the suicidal parts aren't as prevalent this time. So I wish there was something interesting to tell you guys, but I am too dead to even watch TV series. I can't concentrate on anything.

[Lawyer&Mom]

Radio? Sometimes I can manage radio when TV is just too much. And sometimes you just need to rest. Hope you feel better soon!

[tarvos]

When I'm in one of my depressive moods, then silence is pretty much the only option.