Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

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Sarafina
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby Sarafina » Fri Jul 06, 2018 4:36 pm

I had planned a long lost detailing my progress with French. But my IB results came out and slapped me out whatever good/productive mood I had. I passed. I exceeded my uni's offer by a lot. Yet there's a considerable gap between the unis that I really really wanted to go to and my results. I am still in shock. If I wanted to go to the uni that I applied for maybe it would could have been a cause of celebration. I can't spend £9,250 on a uni that I don't want to go to. People are telling me to be realistic and work with what I have and confront reality but like it's mad to spend so much money on a school that I am not even satisfied with. To be fair, it's a pretty decent university but it's not my dream uni.

I have already taken a year out when I changed from A-level to IB. I haven't even worked up the courage to tell my parents about possibly taking another year out redoing a couple of subjects. I'm hoping to remark a couple of my subjects. I am really close to the next/higher grade in about 4 of my subjects and ridiculously close to getting an A for my TOK.

French. I got a 5. I barely did any work in Biology yet I got 5 for that. I put tears, sweat and blood and I got a 5. I'm comforting myself by telling myself that at least it's better than what they predicted me which was a 3/4. But that was one of the grades that hurt the most. I know it's my speaking that dragged me down and (potentially although less likely my writing).

I applied to do Politics as a major and French as a minor. I might even drop that. Some part just wants to delete French from my life and start fresh with another language.

I compare French to an arranged marriage (As I never chose to study French. It was the only language available to me in my school and I liked learning so I went to it). I've tried over the years to make it work and I even grew to like French and appreciate certain aspects and I thought that maybe I was making a breakthrough and unlearning some habits that I picked up from others. (I'm always bitter about the complete lack of time spent on pronunciation at all when I first started learning and allowing the class to develop this mangled heavily Anglicised French and all the fossilised mistakes I am trying so hard to unlearn but I'm really angry at myself for not being more proactive about my education). But now it feels like someone who spent all this time trying making a rocky marriage workonly to find their spouse like I don't know cheated on them or something else awful but not entirely unforgivable and they are deciding if this marriage is worth saving at all. I feel like I've put all this work and I have little to show for it. My speaking stills sucks.

French has been a language where I've had to actively seek out ways to enjoy it. But I don't derive that much joy for French in itself.
It's mostly out of pride that I've studied/been exposed to this language for too long for me to give out on it and the desire to be fluent in another language other than English. I had the most fun with French when I was watching American cartoons dubbed to English and being able to communicate to someone in a foreign language. But then I listen that it doesn't have to be French for me to do those things.

I've always been way more interested in Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese (in terms of European languages that I want to learn). If I was given the choice about which language I would wanted to learn, I would have chosen one of them if not both. There have been Spanish dramas that I've binge-watched and loved. I've never experienced this for any French TV show. Don't get me wrong there are many French books and films that I love and would like to be able to read and fully understand. If I'm being completely honest, my favourite European movie is actually from Brazil and Brazilian Portuguese is the main language spoken there. I find Spanish/Brazilian Portuguese to be easier to pronounce and I don't have any terrible pronunciation habits to unlearn.

I like French accent in terms of when French people speak French but I am neutral that the sound of the French language but I can listen to Brazilian Portuguese for hours on end and I just adore the sound of the language. When I'm having to hunt for French language-exchange partners on Italki, and I have to ignore the Brazilians who message me wanting to improve their English, I always feel a rang of 'if-only'.
The French language exchange partners that I enjoy talking to most already have a good level of English and we spend more time speaking French than English anyways.

I'm trying to remember why I'm learning French and what I like about e.g. some of people, films and books and podcasts. But I mostly want to crawl into a ball and listen to Sufjan Stevens on repeat and trying not to cry.
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gsbod
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby gsbod » Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:19 pm

When you are stuck in compulsory education most decisions about what, how and when you learn are simply not yours to make. Now you have finished that stage in life, what you learn and how you spend your time is totally up to you, as long as you can earn a living. Who are these "people" telling you to be realistic? They're not going to have to live with the consequences of your own life decisions.

I can understand your feelings about French too. I really enjoyed it up to GCSE, but it lost its appeal when doing my A levels, and has felt a bit like unfinished business ever since but I've never been able to sustain the motivation to do much about it! I'm really glad that my school German teacher was so awful that I dropped it like a hot potato before I'd even learned the basics, because learning it from scratch as an adult, on my own terms, has provided so much more fulfilment than I think I will ever get from French.

Anyway, just because you have a university offer doesn't mean you have to take it. At least you get your IB results before the mad rush when the A level results come out, so this gives you a good few weeks to think about what to do next. Maybe a degree in Portuguese?

And hey, we've certainly been getting plenty of sunshine this summer :)
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Sarafina
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby Sarafina » Sat Jul 07, 2018 4:12 pm

gsbod wrote:When you are stuck in compulsory education most decisions about what, how and when you learn are simply not yours to make. Now you have finished that stage in life, what you learn and how you spend your time is totally up to you, as long as you can earn a living. Who are these "people" telling you to be realistic? They're not going to have to live with the consequences of your own life decisions.

I can understand your feelings about French too. I really enjoyed it up to GCSE, but it lost its appeal when doing my A levels, and has felt a bit like unfinished business ever since but I've never been able to sustain the motivation to do much about it! I'm really glad that my school German teacher was so awful that I dropped it like a hot potato before I'd even learned the basics, because learning it from scratch as an adult, on my own terms, has provided so much more fulfilment than I think I will ever get from French.

Anyway, just because you have a university offer doesn't mean you have to take it. At least you get your IB results before the mad rush when the A level results come out, so this gives you a good few weeks to think about what to do next. Maybe a degree in Portuguese?

And hey, we've certainly been getting plenty of sunshine this summer :)


I can't tell you how much I appreciate your response. Thank you so much.
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Sarafina
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby Sarafina » Sat Jul 07, 2018 4:27 pm

I feel like I'm much more calm. I don't feel like my life is over and that it would better for everyone if I just disappeared. It's a minor setback and I'm brainstorming ideas on how I'll deal with it. I know what I want. I didn't quite get it. But I'm not just going to give up and force myself down a path I don't want to take. I underestimated the effort required to achieve my ambitions. It's not enough to put a bit of effort- I need to do my very best.

I am not going to give up on French. I had a great conversation in French. I watched a French Youtuber who I am growing to really like and realised that I was able to understand everything he said. Although French isn't necessarily my first choice but I see a future with it and I've had too many enjoyable experiences with the language to give it up just because I'm disappointed with my grade. I'm considering retaking it- I really want that 7.
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eido
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby eido » Sat Jul 07, 2018 10:02 pm

We have IB in the US but I'm not familiar with the grading system. Is it out of ten? I thought five would be good because I took AP, and five was the highest score you could get on a test. Forgive my ignorance and willingness to paint everything with the same brush. Are your results bad?
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smallwhite
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby smallwhite » Sat Jul 07, 2018 10:48 pm

If you could go back in time, how would you have studied for IB French differently, assuming the same amount of study time?
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Sarafina
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby Sarafina » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:16 pm

smallwhite wrote:If you could go back in time, how would you have studied for IB French differently, assuming the same amount of study time?


I would invested in more lessons on Italki to prepare for my speaking exam. I didn't do as much Italki lessons as I would have liked because I didn't want to spent a lot of money. The brief time period I had regular Italki lessons were invaluable in improving my speaking grade. Or alternatively, I should have been more forward in approaching the native French speakers in my school to practice exclusively for my oral exam but I always felt awkward trying to agree to times to practice my French with them and I felt like I was bothering them. To be fair I did speak to them in French a couple of times but I let it fizzle out.

I should have started going through a comprehensive grammar book with numerous exercises to practice as soon as I started the IB. I did get a very good grammar book in my final year of the IB but I didn't go through it as much as I should. I didn't do enough the writing past papers even though I talked about doing even more in my previous log. I found it to be draining but I should have sucked it up.

I am proud about how consistent I was with building my vocabulary in the last year of my IB and consistently reading an article or more in French. However I wish that I started doing this during my first year of the IB. I did a considerable amount of reading past papers. But I think my reading grade was really high anyways.

I would have gotten a 6 if I got 3 more marks for each of my two speaking exams and four marks more for my writing paper. Although the gap between my grade and the 7 that I wanted isn't too large but it's not small either.

I can blame the school for their lack of support for the oral exam and not providing conversation classes even though they offered it French ab-initio classes. But I have to accept responsibility for my grade. The grade I got is entirely my fault. There were things I could have done but I didn't because it was too hard or wasn't as fun and there are things I did that worked very well but I didn't do early enough or as intensely as I could have.
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Sarafina
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby Sarafina » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:30 pm

eido wrote:We have IB in the US but I'm not familiar with the grading system. Is it out of ten? I thought five would be good because I took AP, and five was the highest score you could get on a test. Forgive my ignorance and willingness to paint everything with the same brush. Are your results bad?


My results aren't bad in total and if I'm putting aside my personal expectations I would say that they are an okay set of results. They are above the national average. 7 is the highest. 7 is like an A+, 6 is a A and 5 is B. I am just really disappointed because I wanted to get really high grades and prove to myself that I can achieve the very best academically (although I should have put it greater effort and time to actually achieve my ambitions). I feel even worse knowing people who got practically full marks for their IB results. With my current results, I can't even apply to my dream unis which is what hurts the most.

My only consolation is that I exceeded my school's expectations of me (which isn't really that hard considering how little they expected me to achieve).
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eido
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby eido » Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:08 am

Sarafina wrote:My results aren't bad in total and if I'm putting aside my personal expectations I would say that they are an okay set of results. They are above the national average. 7 is the highest. 7 is like an A+, 6 is a A and 5 is B. I am just really disappointed because I wanted to get really high grades and prove to myself that I can achieve the very best academically (although I should have put it greater effort and time to actually achieve my ambitions). I feel even worse knowing people who got practically full marks for their IB results. With my current results, I can't even apply to my dream unis which is what hurts the most.

My only consolation is that I exceeded my school's expectations of me (which isn't really that hard considering how little they expected me to achieve).

I can't offer any advice so I probably shouldn't say anything.
When I took my AP exams, I passed them all. I only got a 5 on one, and that was AP Psychology. I was pretty average, maybe worse considering I'm from a relatively affluent area where all the parents work for high profile companies, such as aerospace ones, as engineers. So they're smart.
I wasn't sad I didn't get to go to Harvard. Well, maybe a little, but that was just because everyone wants to go there because of societal expectation. I applied to my local four-year and no others, because I didn't want to move out of state. To be honest I didn't think I could do better, nor did I really want to. (Too much money, mostly.) But my scores were enough to get them to offer me a place in the honors program, this college mine, and that's pretty much all I could ask for. (I turned the opportunity down though, because at the time I didn't want the stress, nor did I think I could not act privileged with that designation, and I didn't want to behave as my classmates did with their competitive natures.) I get it, though. A 90 isn't the same as a 100. But at some point an A is still an A, especially if you've worked for it. You're just tired, so sometimes it'll have to do. Plus, sometimes you're just hoping your 90 will stay a 90 because God, you need that A, and at least it's not an 89.
How many back-up schools do you have? Isn't there one that'll do?
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smallwhite
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Re: Summer 2018: Hopefully Plenty of Sunshine and Language Learning

Postby smallwhite » Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:51 am

Sarafina wrote:
I would invested in more lessons on Italki to prepare for my speaking exam. ...
I should have been more forward in approaching the native French speakers in my school...
I should have started going through a comprehensive grammar book with numerous exercises...
... vocabulary ... reading ... I wish that I started doing this during my first year of the IB.

You would do more of these, and less of what?
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