Postby PeterMollenburg » Wed Sep 27, 2017 1:18 pm
Some negative things of late...
*I can't seem to find enough time lately to study, but that's battling tiredness, sleep deprivation, work and family... I do know the reasons, but when you have so many time constraints it's hard not to take some time out at night and stay up slightly later than you should (continually) only to find yourself (continually) woken early by kids and back in the same cycle... need to get my sleep on track once and for all. Recent tests suggest I am burnt out somewhat with adrenal fatigue.
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*Even though i'm studying a bit less lately it seems that my lazier mornings here and there are adding to pressure in the household with my indulgent endeavours. I've got to be careful not to be too selfish as there are other people in my family besides me. Needless to say I do remain selfish, I just need to get back to military style timetables in which I can tick my boxes and allow regular time for other things/people. I feel like my language study is under threat and that i'll never reach C1/C2. Progress is snails pace lately. I'd like to take the C1 next year in the first half of the year, but I think that could be a little ambitious. I seem to fly through some things in French, and my listening comprehension is still improving further, but then I read the odd article in which there are LOADS of unkown words... Man, how big is this language learning task!
Take your time you say? I agree, however I would like to pass a C1 soonish to get on with starting my next language. And Belgium still remains the aim. My wife and I realised that we've been trying to bite off more than we can chew and we need to just start saving cashola very soon for a 12 month stint in Belgium... just need to get a job there (easier said than done). Thus learning Dutch remains high on the agenda in the hopefully not too distant future.
And don't mention Emmanuel Macron.... might I just say very very very predictable. If you're a fan I respect that, honestly (let's not get into details).
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*A close relative of mine recently made a comment I was absolutely not too pleased with, stating that when around them I ought to speak English to my daughter in their presence in order that common courtesy be respected. To this day I have said around 20 words to my daughter in English (either be accident or as a last resort translation to clarify something- which i'm also not keen on anymore). In reading about raising bilingual children, it seems essential to me to create a 'need' for the minority language in the child's mind. If the child comes to understand that they can simply respond to the parent who speaks the minority language (me, French) with the dominant language (English) as they understand it perfectly well, then they will take that path of least resistance.
Thus, recently I shifted from a phase of repeat everything in French that my daughter says to me in English when speaking to me (me speaking French to her), and have her repeat that in French with my assistance, to a phase in which I encourage activation. Instead of repeating (which she was simply becoming reliant on and was great at parroting my French), i'm now asking her "en français" and if she struggles I give her clues (perhaps some words in a sentence, half words that she finishes etc). It's working, as she's gradually increasing her ability to just directly address me in French (often broken which is fine) lately and simply bypass English. To reinforce the need for French, I need to maintain the notion to her that I do not speak English with her, and thus she must communicate with me in French if she wishes to communicate with me. So switching to English with her, is simply not something I want to do, at all.
Thus, I flatly refused when I was asked to switch. When temporarily living under their household not too many years back it was made clear that there'd be no Dutch conversations between my wife and I in their household (we'd recently returned from 5 months or so in NL). This person is a monolingual English speaker, and although appears to value the idea of me teaching French to my daughter, clearly doesn't really understand it. Yes a 50 minute car trip is a confined environment (my daughter and I probably only spoke for 5 minutes- she fell asleep). Yes I understand his point, really, I absolutely do. However, too much is at stake in my opinion, and I wasn't having the former no Dutch rule under his/her household become a no French rule in his/her company with my own daughter.
A week later, some sentiments were raised with my wife referring back to that car trip. I texted him and apologised for my abrupt response citing some links to the one parent one language concept and the importance of not reverting to the majority language. I did this as in the past he seemed to be someone who liked evidence. I also spoke in lengthy messages of why it was important to me that I do not switch languages. I was told I missed the point completely and that I was basically disrespecting old fashioned values.
As a side note, I couldnt care less if someone spoke Japanese under the same roof as me (I have no clue with this language), I would think it was fantastic. But clearly, that is me.
Anyway some more messaging and more backup statistics if you will in terms of how much exposure to a language is required, how i'm barely home lately (as i'm the sole worker currently) and all the more reason to not use English, on the much less frequent occasions i'm with my daughter (compared to my wife) as the minority language speaker.
I get it, I do, and it is exclusionary as he/she described, but I won't budge. I offered constant translation or translation on request. No response to that. Anyway, I'm sure many here would actually side not with me but with the other person in question and i'm fine with that. I know i come across perhaps exceedingly strict in this policy, but that's how it is, I am not prepared to change it. And although I do feel like I can see it from that person's perspective, I do not believe they were willing at all to concede an inch and admit I had some valid points. That doesn't matter I guess. I don't spend much time with that person in confined settings like cars or small rooms, thus the 'trigger' is not likely to arise very much, and when it does I've decided to attempt translation for them to see how it goes, and get my daughter involved in translating, as I think she will find it helpful if I sell it that way.
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Some positives-
*New Caledonia is still on the cards although it will really set us back financially, but we do need a holiday! And I've been wanting to go there for some time.
*We're considering a French nanny/babysitter at some point.... it's a wishful aspiration but it may happen here and there.
3 x
It's fine for others to have whatever opinions they like of us, we ought not feel the need to defend ourselves so much, and yes I take myself too seriously 
Today it's "don't talk to her in French in front of me", tommorrow it could be "don't confuse her by talking to her in French, she needs to speak English as it is everywhere around her", and later "Why on Earth do you want to leave us and your roots, and you daughter's roots, to go live in some small european country I cannot even find on the map??!"
