Gary's TACtivation

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garyb
Black Belt - 1st Dan
Posts: 1572
Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2015 12:35 pm
Location: Scotland
Languages: Native: English
Advanced: Italian, French
Intermediate: Spanish
Beginner: German, Japanese
Language Log: viewtopic.php?f=15&t=1855
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Re: Gary's TACtivation

Postby garyb » Mon Jan 04, 2016 3:01 pm

tomgosse wrote:I know the frustration. In English, I am quite articulate, but in French I can only make baby sentences. Sometimes it makes me feel like a total idiot. I have no advice, but I can empathize with you.


I think it's one of these things that never really goes away and one just has to accept. Even very advanced speakers like the Italian friends I described express frustration about not being able to express themselves quite as naturally as they do in their native language.

Spoonary wrote:I, for one, would be sad to see you go, Gary. Your experiences and thorough reflections are always a joy to read and I often go away having learned a thing or two or with something new to ponder. However, I completely understand all of your reasons for considering putting languages aside and focussing on your true passion, music. There is nothing wrong with just returning to your target languages to polish them when you go on holiday again (although even that is not compulsory, obviously ;) ). I don't think this forum is going anywhere soon so it'll be here if you just want to pop back every now and again to give us a life update and satisfy our curiosity. :)


Thanks, I'm glad that people appreciate my writing. Languages have been a big part of my life for a few years and even with the negative sides I don't see myself dropping them entirely. I might just be overreacting to a few recent situations and thoughts. It'll probably just be a short break or a shift in priorities.

Part of why I've spent so much time on music recently is just because I could: I was at home all day, around my instruments. Now that I'm back to the normal routine, that's not an option. Languages are a bit more flexible, I can do reading/listening/writing during lunch hour, speaking when I'm out in town if the opportunity arises, reading on public transport. I should have space for two passions!

In fact I had a similar phase with music a few years ago, I almost gave it up because I felt I just didn't have enough time to realise my ambitions, especially compared to some of my friends who have more time to dedicate to it. Thinking about it, the cause was the same sort of perfectionism and unrealistic expectations that I and Iguanamon describe. Music is similar in that there's so much to learn and you can feel overwhelmed if you focus too much on what you can't do rather than what you can do. Even in other areas of life like social skills and relationships I've had similar thoughts.

iguanamon wrote:This has been coming for a long time, Gary. My observation is that it's your expectations that are making you unhappy. I live in a place where English is the dominant language too. Yes, I speak Spanish. I have Spanish-speaking neighbors and get to speak it regularly but because we all speak English well, we often switch to it for certain topics, because we are also English-speakers living in an English-speaking country.
...
I enjoy talking with Spanish-speakers and Creole-speakers here about aspects of their culture that can only really be expressed in Spanish or Creole (Voodoo, Santería, food, TL music, novelas, films, books) and in English when there are topics that are better expressed in English. That is part and parcel of living in a country where English is dominant. So, I either accept that and be happy with what I can do or I quit because I can't do what I feel I should be doing? For me, the former is the better choice.

Yes, we are imperfect speakers of a second language. We can do a lot but not everything. Speaking a second language, even imperfectly, enriches my life in so many ways that I wouldn't and couldn't give that up... even knowing that I will never be able to express myself in my languages as well as I can in English without going to live in a TL country for a few years. I do the best I can. I accept my limitations and I focus on what I can do.


Thanks, I think that's what I needed to hear. At the end of the day I've chosen to live in an English-speaking country, I've chosen to have a career and work full time (unlike my musical friends), I've chosen to divide my remaining time between different interests. All of these choices have limitations that need to be accepted. I just sometimes get a bit frustrated about the lack of opportunities to speak my languages, and feel that that's limiting my progress and making the language less useful for me. Especially when these opportunities seem just out of reach, like the Italian conversations that change to English when I join, but again that's a case where I need to take responsibility and either be assertive about wanting to practise or fully accept English as the logical choice and enjoy the social benefits.

Moreover, I can't even say for sure that this is limiting my progress: I said myself that I'm still unsure about the importance of input versus output! Even if it is limiting my conversation ability, that's just another thing to accept and I can instead focus on things that I can realistically improve. For example my recent pronunciation work seems to be fruitful. Or focus on another language instead - taking my Spanish to an imperfect but very useful B1/B2 level is something that I'm very confident I could achieve, and would probably open many more doors than slightly better Italian.
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garyb
Black Belt - 1st Dan
Posts: 1572
Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2015 12:35 pm
Location: Scotland
Languages: Native: English
Advanced: Italian, French
Intermediate: Spanish
Beginner: German, Japanese
Language Log: viewtopic.php?f=15&t=1855
x 5992
Contact:

Re: Gary's TACtivation

Postby garyb » Mon Jan 04, 2016 4:53 pm

Alright, you've all convinced me to stick with it for the moment :) I've started a 2016 log.
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