My road to CPE

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tarvos
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Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby tarvos » Fri Oct 27, 2017 7:31 pm

Many things in this text aren't really grammatically wrong as much as they are unnatural - we simply would never say them the way you would put them here. I would have to spend some time with it to really fix it for you because there are a lot of things where a change I make might not be the meaning you intended. Some constructions you use sound fairly russian (you overuse "it is" instead of "there is/there are", which is because of the way Russian phrases things).

For speeches, I tend to avoid writing out entire texts - I don't even do that in my non-native languages such as Spanish. I prefer keeping the structure intact (you can use a diagram to help you with this), but I leave the exact formulation to the presentation itself, and sometimes the presentation will change due to small improvizations. Often the exact wording is not as important as the idea or link transmitted, and choosing a different word isn't going to be the key problem in them understanding you, missing the link in your story is. Besides that, if you avoid writing out all the sentences, your speech will sound less memorized and much more natural and gain a more natural flow.
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I hope your world is kind.

Is a girl.

Ольга
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Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby Ольга » Fri Oct 27, 2017 7:42 pm

tarvos wrote:Many things in this text aren't really grammatically wrong as much as they are unnatural - we simply would never say them the way you would put them here. I would have to spend some time with it to really fix it for you because there are a lot of things where a change I make might not be the meaning you intended. Some constructions you use sound fairly russian (you overuse "it is" instead of "there is/there are", which is because of the way Russian phrases things).

For speeches, I tend to avoid writing out entire texts - I don't even do that in my non-native languages such as Spanish. I prefer keeping the structure intact (you can use a diagram to help you with this), but I leave the exact formulation to the presentation itself, and sometimes the presentation will change due to small improvizations. Often the exact wording is not as important as the idea or link transmitted, and choosing a different word isn't going to be the key problem in them understanding you, missing the link in your story is. Besides that, if you avoid writing out all the sentences, your speech will sound less memorized and much more natural and gain a more natural flow.

Thank you for the nice response!!! :) Yes, I know, there are lots of unnatural phrases because I don't know collocations.
But I am a poor speaker, I speak like a beginner, I even received 14 or 15 points out of 30 for Speaking Part in the TOEFL ibt, so, I have to write and just to read a speech. I know, it is not a very good idea, but I tried very hard, I worked on my pronunciation, (even bought a studio microphone), talked with natives for 3-4 hours every Sunday, and nothing has changed, I am still a poor speaker. Maybe, my brain works not very well, maybe I am just stupid, I don't know. At least I know I can write well. :D
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Output Challenge 2018
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Words: 4732 / 50000

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tarvos
Black Belt - 2nd Dan
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Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby tarvos » Fri Oct 27, 2017 7:48 pm

No one knows collocations one hundred per cent. If you asked me, right now, without preparation, to give a similar presentation in Russian, don't you think it'd be a big ask of me? I've got six years of experience with the language, have spent loads of time on it, I even use it professionally, and still I come across new words every day. That's just how life works.

I'm sure your pronunciation is just fine. Plenty of people have an accent when they speak a foreign language. I still retain an accent when I speak Russian, but it's never stopped anybody from communicating with me.

Presentations are all about proper preparation, and being confident on stage. So many Dutch people have horrid accents and all of them have been forced to present in English at university - and they've all managed, despite the difficulties they may or may not have had. Why? Because they weren't perfectionist about it and simply went out there and did it. A small grammar mistake isn't worth all the headache, but them not getting your point is, and that's the mentality you need to have. When they come out of that room, they need to be convinced of your opinion, and you forgetting the one hundred per cent correct and pretty way of speaking once or twice will not detract from that.
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I hope your world is kind.

Is a girl.

Ольга
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Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby Ольга » Fri Oct 27, 2017 7:58 pm

Thank you very much!!! ;) ;) ;)
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Output Challenge 2018
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Words: 4732 / 50000

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LinguaPony
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Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby LinguaPony » Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:19 am

Okay, let's give it a try.

«In a nuclear war, no country will escape unharmed/unscathed»
Tonight I would like to present my monologue to your attention.
I am strongly convinced that no country can avoid mass destruction in a nuclear war.
It is important to remember this for several reasons. I am going to explain why.
First of all, it is unsafe in terms of ecology. Our planet is our home both figuratively and literally. It is a live organism. For a human being, it would be impossible to cut an arm or a leg and leave the person to live a healthy and happy life; the same is true for the Earth. If any part of our planet were harmed and shredded to pieces, the other part would suffer, as if it were its sibling. People would suffer from cancer, tumors, heart attacks, hemorrhage attacks, etc. The crops would be poisoned. People would not be able to farm, to plant vegetables and fruit, or to grow livestock, because the land would be poisoned by nucleus chemicals. The oceans, seas, rivers, and lakes would be poisoned as well. All the ecological system and the biological cycle would be damaged and, probably, ruined.
The second reason is the following: “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” It is a famous expression of one Chinese philosopher which illustrates my ideas best of all. I strongly believe that any war can be avoided or prevented by some wise politics and policy on the side of the countries’ governments.
In this case, the high and mighty of the world would have to hire some experienced diplomats-peacemakers, who could manage any complicated, difficult situation. Some people, even some movers and shakers of the world, believe that aggression is the best policy. I completely disagree with that. A smart politician should try several tactics, like ignoring the aggressor, or organizing peace-talks, but never carry out an attack. If political leaders behaved as selfish, sensitive children, it would lead to the end of the world.
And the third and last reason is, when we think of using nuclear weapons, we come closer to the point of no return. Some actions cannot be forgiven. It is impossible to glue pieces of broken glass together. Somebody famous once said: “Trust is like glass. Once broken, it will never be the same”. I am utterly convinced that people should think twice before saying, and think thrice before doing.
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tarvos
Black Belt - 2nd Dan
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Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby tarvos » Sat Oct 28, 2017 9:09 am

The corrections given are good, but I would add some other corrections:

We usually say "radioactive chemicals" because "nuclear chemicals" doesn't really mean anything. Usually people behave selfishly (I prefer adverbs with the verb to behave), but you usually behave LIKE a child (not as).

"There is a famous expression by a Chinese philosopher which illustrates.."

I would also simply say h(a)emorrhages or internal trauma.

Also, here you would mean "to cut off", not to cut an arm or a leg. You could cut your arms and live just fine.
2 x
I hope your world is kind.

Is a girl.

Ольга
Green Belt
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Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby Ольга » Sat Oct 28, 2017 12:05 pm

Thank you very much!!! :)
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Output Challenge 2018
Hours of Recorded Speech: 0 / 50
Words: 4732 / 50000

Ольга
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Re: My road to CPE

Postby Ольга » Fri Nov 03, 2017 9:59 pm

Edited again. :D :D :D
Ольга wrote:I have decided to edit this topic and turn that into something really useful.

Before I register for CPE, I am going to work with 8 courses and 16 books.
I'm going make a list from that:
"Frenchman's Creek" by Daphne du Maurier, 286 pages

"Twelfth night or what you will" by William Shakespeare, 123 pages

"Three men in a boat" by Jerome K.Jerome, 233 pages

"A moveable feast" by Hemingway, 211 pages

"Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier, 414 pages

"Tatiana and Alexander" by Paulina Simons, 626 pages

"Of Human Bondage" by W. Somerset Maugham, 684 pages

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" by J. K. Rowling, 607 pages

"Murder on the Orient Express" by Agatha Christie, 304 pages

Agatha Christie, 1930's Omnibus, 743 pages

"The Sky is Falling" by Sidney Sheldon, 399 pages

"The Doomsday Conspiracy" by Sidney Sheldon, 401 pages

"Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho, 291 pages

"Veronika Decides to Die" by Paulo Coelho, 191 pages

"The Fifth Mountain" by Paulo Coelho, 245 pages

Васильев В.А. и др. Фонетика английского языка: нормативный курс, 357 страниц

Innovations. A Course in Natural English

Work on your Accent. Collins

English Pronunciation in Use

Oxford English Grammar

Cutting Edge Upper Intermediate

CAE Result (Student's Book, Workbook, etc)

Using Collocations for Natural English (Walter E., Woodford K. )

Cambridge English Proficiency Practice Tests.


So, a happy journey! :D :D :D
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Output Challenge 2018
Hours of Recorded Speech: 0 / 50
Words: 4732 / 50000

Xmmm
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Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby Xmmm » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:11 am

Ольга wrote:In a nuclear war no country will emerge unscathed
Tonight I would like to present my monologue to your attention.
I am strongly convinced that no country can avoid mass destruction in a nuclear war.
It is important to remember because of several reasons. I am going to explain, why.
First of all, it is unsafe because of due to ecological causes. Our planet is our home in both a figurative and a literal meaning. It is an alive a living organism. As for a human being, it is impossible to cut off an arm or a leg and leave the person to live healthily and happily, the same is for the Earth. If any part of our planet were harmed and shredded to pieces, the other part would suffer, as if it were its sibling. People would suffer from cancer, tumors, heart attacks, hemorrhage attacks (this is not a common expression ... do you mean a stroke?), etc. The crops would be poisoned. People would not be able to do farming farm, to plant vegetables and fruit, or to grow livestock because the earth would be poisoned by nucleus nuclear fallout chemicals. The oceans, seas, rivers, and lakes would be poisoned as well. All the The entire ecological system, all the entire biological circle would be damaged and, probably (? probably?), ruined.
The second reason is the following this: “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”  It is a famous expression of one Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu which illustrates my ideas best of all. I strongly believe that any war can be avoided or prevented by some wise politics and government policies from the side of countries’ governments.
In this case, the high and mighty of the world would have to hire some experienced diplomat-peacemakers (this is a neologism, fine, but it should be diplomat-peacemakers, not diplomats-peacemakers), who could manage any complicated, difficult situation. Some people, even some movers and shakers of the world believe that aggression is the best policy. I completely don’t agree with that. A smart politician should try several tactics, like ignoring the aggressor, or organizing peace-talks, but never carry out an attack. If political leaders would behave as selfish, sensitive children, it would lead to the end of the world.
And the third, and the last reason is that: every day, when we think of using of nuclear weapons, we come closer to the point of no return. Some actions cannot be forgiven. It is impossible to glue pieces of broken glass together. Somebody famous once said (who?): “Trust is like glass. Once broken, it will never be the same”. I am utterly convinced, that people should think twice before saying, and think thrice before doing.


For good English style:

1. avoid cliches (marked in red) -- cliches are easy for natives to spot, I don't know how English learners spot them. But avoid them you must.
2. don't say things that the reader already knows ("I would like to present my monologue")
3. when you quote people, quote them by name unless it is an anonymous quote. Most educated people have heard of Sun Tzu even if they haven't read his book, etc.
4. "Write with nouns and verbs". Keep the use of adjectives and adverbs to a minimum. The occasional adjective or adverb that is exactly right, not an adjective for every noun and an adverb for every verb.
2 x

Ещё раз сунешь голову туда — окажешься внутри. Поняла, Фемида? -- аигел

Ольга
Green Belt
Posts: 261
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2015 10:42 am
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x 196

Re: English: All skills. How to reach C2.

Postby Ольга » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:39 am

Xmmm wrote:
Ольга wrote:In a nuclear war no country will emerge unscathed
Tonight I would like to present my monologue to your attention.
I am strongly convinced that no country can avoid mass destruction in a nuclear war.
It is important to remember because of several reasons. I am going to explain, why.
First of all, it is unsafe because of due to ecological causes. Our planet is our home in both a figurative and a literal meaning. It is an alive a living organism. As for a human being, it is impossible to cut off an arm or a leg and leave the person to live healthily and happily, the same is for the Earth. If any part of our planet were harmed and shredded to pieces, the other part would suffer, as if it were its sibling. People would suffer from cancer, tumors, heart attacks, hemorrhage attacks (this is not a common expression ... do you mean a stroke?), etc. The crops would be poisoned. People would not be able to do farming farm, to plant vegetables and fruit, or to grow livestock because the earth would be poisoned by nucleus nuclear fallout chemicals. The oceans, seas, rivers, and lakes would be poisoned as well. All the The entire ecological system, all the entire biological circle would be damaged and, probably (? probably?), ruined.
The second reason is the following this: “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”  It is a famous expression of one Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu which illustrates my ideas best of all. I strongly believe that any war can be avoided or prevented by some wise politics and government policies from the side of countries’ governments.
In this case, the high and mighty of the world would have to hire some experienced diplomat-peacemakers (this is a neologism, fine, but it should be diplomat-peacemakers, not diplomats-peacemakers), who could manage any complicated, difficult situation. Some people, even some movers and shakers of the world believe that aggression is the best policy. I completely don’t agree with that. A smart politician should try several tactics, like ignoring the aggressor, or organizing peace-talks, but never carry out an attack. If political leaders would behave as selfish, sensitive children, it would lead to the end of the world.
And the third, and the last reason is that: every day, when we think of using of nuclear weapons, we come closer to the point of no return. Some actions cannot be forgiven. It is impossible to glue pieces of broken glass together. Somebody famous once said (who?): “Trust is like glass. Once broken, it will never be the same”. I am utterly convinced, that people should think twice before saying, and think thrice before doing.


For good English style:

1. avoid cliches (marked in red) -- cliches are easy for natives to spot, I don't know how English learners spot them. But avoid them you must.
2. don't say things that the reader already knows ("I would like to present my monologue")
3. when you quote people, quote them by name unless it is an anonymous quote. Most educated people have heard of Sun Tzu even if they haven't read his book, etc.
4. "Write with nouns and verbs". Keep the use of adjectives and adverbs to a minimum. The occasional adjective or adverb that is exactly right, not an adjective for every noun and an adverb for every verb.

Thank you very much! :D
0 x
Output Challenge 2018
Hours of Recorded Speech: 0 / 50
Words: 4732 / 50000


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