There are worse things I could do... (FR, RU, ES)

[MamaPata]

My dad sent me this article from the Guardian thinking (correctly) that I would be amused. In it, the author talks about trying to move her decent French to properly good. One of the first things she does is the Institut Français/Alliance Française online level test.

Thinking it would be entertaining, I also did it. The result? I am on my way to B2. I don't quite know what to do with this. I have a B2 certificate! I did very well! (And I did it last December and have been using French since so I can't imagine that I'm that much worse than I was). I'm trying not to let it get to me, but honestly it's getting to me. Even back when I got the certificate, I had difficulty believing that it was real. I remember someone joking that I would have to change my level in my bio (which was at B1) and having an instinctive panic, that I would do that and my French wouldn't be good enough and I would be revealed to be an imposter.

And I do feel like I am an imposter with languages often enough. Can I actually read/understand as well as I think I can or am I just missing stuff? The level descriptions are so vague that I never feel confident asserting myself at any of them - what I think of as B2 does feel above my actual level. There's always going to be so much left to learn that I'm never going to feel "fluent" in any language (which I tell you is really unhelpful when applying for jobs).

Anyway, I recommend the article. I do not necessarily recommend doing the test - it hasn't been great for my mood!

[Arnaud]

The result? I am on my way to B2.

Don't worry, I'm on my way to C1. I should be more worried than you

[Cavesa]

... I would be revealed to be an imposter.

I've got an imposter syndrome like this too. And I have passed DALF C2. It is actually one of my worst problems, when it comes to writing. My brain freezes and second guesses intself all the time while writing due to this (writing how this happened to me any my French could be a bit too unpleasant and stupid for someone else's log). But just know you are not alone. We all sometimes "underperform" and we all sometimes take it too seriously. Sometimes it's us, just having a worse day or presenting our weakest skills without our strengths, sometimes it is the test, focusing on some stuff more than other.

Don't fell too bad about this. If it works as one of the incentives to work on maintenance of your French, great. If it feels like pressure, that is worse, but don't let it. Open a BD instead!

[hagestolz]

As one imposter to another I'd just like to second what Cavesa writes and observes. She sums up perfectly what most of us feel from time to time. We all have bad days at the office, don't we?

I had a terrible experience a few months ago. A Czech teacher approached me to do a language exchange and I was very excited about this. She had an excellent level of English but I was able to help her with specific questions she'd mailed me in advance. When we started to talk in Czech I made a mistake almost immediately and was jumped on! Instead of letting me talk without correction for a while she interrupted me again and again. After less than 5 minutes I froze and couldn't string two words together. I explained that I didn't want to be corrected in such a way and cut the session short by 10 minutes.

Afterwards I felt mortified and thought that I should downgrade my level from B2 to A1/A2. I was convinced for two or three days that I was a fake and a failure until my next session with my regular teacher - supportive, calm and yet rigorous - restored my self-belief. I can laugh about it now and share my shame publicly with strangers, because these things just happen. Chin up!!

[Cavesa]

We all have bad days at the office, don't we?

Or a bad decade.

As we are sharing embarassing imposter syndrom confidence wrecking stories to make MamaPata feel better:

A native laughed at the way I was pronouncing his name. Which was not THAT bad btw. But that made me feel like a beginner. But really, some names are a challenge.

Or a problem had been a too lenient teacher (yes, the opposite of the example above). He had been paid to correct my smaller mistakes. How devastating it was to be corrected on a few minor issues afterwards. It felt like "was I really looking like I needed false compliments?!" That made me feel like an imposter.

Or those funny moments, when people ask like "and you understand this book in the language? wow! I can't believe that, what does THIS word mean?" and they show you something hyperrare used in one description in the whole book. Of course I know damn well I don't need to know all the words in a language to not be a fraud, but it still felt weird.

Really, it is normal. Don't take it too seriously.

[MamaPata]

Or those funny moments, when people ask like "and you understand this book in the language? wow! I can't believe that, what does THIS word mean?" and they show you something hyperrare used in one description in the whole book. Of course I know damn well I don't need to know all the words in a language to not be a fraud, but it still felt weird.

Oh yeah, I get that all the time.

[SGP]

Or those funny moments, when people ask like "and you understand this book in the language? wow! I can't believe that, what does THIS word mean?" and they show you something hyperrare used in one description in the whole book. Of course I know damn well I don't need to know all the words in a language to not be a fraud, but it still felt weird.

Oh yeah, I get that all the time.

Often, the context would greatly narrow down that word's meaning. So even if we wouldn't understand it, it still wouldn't matter. But how to explain that to (some) of the Non-Learners of any foreign language?

[Maiwenn]

I don't use Amazon (or AbeBooks, which annoyingly I have discovered they own)

Are there any book-selling websites you do recommend?

Annoyingly, not really. A lot of sites don't let you search by language, and I mostly buy foreign language books online. I've only bought one set of books online recently and I found them on Alibris and then on Ebay. Which is a strategy.

- Alibris looks great for people that are in the US and lets you search by language, but for me meant I was going to pay ridiculous postage for stuff that was being sent to me from the UK.
- Oxfam has a pretty extensive selection (and has quite a few foreign books, entitled with 'Spanish edition', etc, so that's probably the best way to search)
- Better World Books looks good
- Someone recommended Kennys Bookstore to me, but I haven't personally tried it yet.

Ethical Consumer has some recommendations.

There were some suggestions for (non-uk) websites on the Online Book Shopping - The Frog and the Scorpion thread, and I've just been browsing the Online bookstores and book search engines thread [NB Priceminster, mentioned for french books, seems to have changed name/ownership to Rakuten].

I tend to buy 2nd hand books via Amazon UK, but I am looking around for alternatives.

Awesome, I'll have a look at those. For now, I have enough physical books that I probably shouldn't be allowed to buy more...
But if you have titles or you know what you're looking for, I definitely recommend some of the above, particularly Oxfam.

A bit late to chime in, but I remembered this discussion when I learned about the site https://www.bookeenstore.com/ today. It seems like it's possible to purchase from them even outside of France. (Found on this subreddit post looking for French alternatives to amazon: https://www.reddit.com/r/france/comment ... e_made_in/)

[MamaPata]

Thank you for all of your support - it was much needed and appreciated!

Languages aren't really getting the time they deserve. I am waiting to hear about a couple of big life changes and I am really struggling, until that is sorted which makes everything challenging. Hopefully something will happen about that by the end of the month. I also decided to join two bookgroups, which has meant that I need to read 3 books in English by the 24th. I am excited about that, but given that it was a pretty busy week, it meant that my commute was taken up by reading and it's when I normally do language stuff. Normally I will have more time to read them (and only two books) so it should be a bit less mad.

I am also trying to sort a French course. I decided to take one for a variety of reasons, but it has been a bit of a mess. I know many people on the forum don't like classes, but they have always been very good for me. I wanted to trial the course as I suspected it would not quite work and it's not particularly cheap. They won't let you trial any classes (I even offered to book the one I wanted to do and trial another, so they would have the money and know that I was committed but no. I don't really see the logic but whatever). As it's a very good school, I just decided to suck it up and book. So I went to the first class and as I suspected, it wasn't very good. It's meant to be a semi-conversation class about current affairs for levels B2+. We just did exercises - any conversation was in pairs and was just figuring out the answer to questions. I was also quite surprised by the classmembers. I tried to talk to people before class in French and several just replied in English. Why are you there paying if you don't want to put in the effort? This always bemuses me. I am trying to change the class, but that has just been a disaster. On the plus side, it meant I spoke to several people on the phone and wrote two cross e-mails, so some output I guess. They won't refund me so I am trying to change to a DALF prep class, but they're continuing to be unhelpful about it. We'll see what happens. I am not staying in that class, so ...

I also started a French novel and listened to some podcasts. I finished the first season of Dix Pour Cent, which I think I quite enjoyed overall. I do find the awkward moments a challenge though! It's not something that I love, so it's sometimes hard to start an episode, though once I have started I tend to enjoy it. (It also took me 2.5 episodes to realise that the characters are genuine French actors )

I finished a truly truly terrible romance novel translated into Spanish. I have nothing to say about it other than that it was genuinely the worst novel I've ever read. But on the plus side, the Spanish was very easy. I also watched a couple of Spanish films with my parents over the last few weeks. Because they don't speak Spanish, we had ENglish subtitles. I can't stop reading subtitles, even if I understand the language, but because my Spanish is worse than my French, I also find it very hard to listen to the Spanish if there are English subtitles. I need to find another Spanish series to watch - I have loads in my list on Netflix, so I just have to start one!

As for Russian, I listened to a couple of podcasts and read a few pages of the Ship of Magic translation.

I am hoping to be able to make some changes in my life from this week, which may make me less miserable. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

[Sarafina]

I was also quite surprised by the classmembers. I tried to talk to people before class in French and several just replied in English. Why are you there paying if you don't want to put in the effort? This always bemuses me. I am trying to change the class, but that has just been a disaster. On the plus side, it meant I spoke to several people on the phone and wrote two cross e-mails, so some output I guess. They won't refund me so I am trying to change to a DALF prep class, but they're continuing to be unhelpful about it. We'll see what happens. I am not staying in that class, so ...

I hope everything works out for you. I hate it when people are like that. I remember being so excited to join the French Society especially when I learnt that there was a weekly hour along event hour dedicated to French 'immersion'/speaking. Unfortunately, it seemed to be dedicated to just chit chat in English and eat French snacks. I never understand these types of people- I mean you can literally chat in English at any other time and place. The people that were meant to be moderating the discussion were also speaking English as well. At least the snacks were decent.

What made you decide to take a French course instead of lessons on sites like Italki? I'm considering signing up for a DALF prep class in the holidays. But I don't know if paying for a teacher on Italki that is familar with exam would be better use of my money.