Thank you all for your kindness! It's extremely encouraging to read such kind messages, especially as I sometimes feel like everything except couragous or indefatigable (thanks for a new word btw!).
It should also be noted that I couldn't do all this alone. Various kinds of support are extremely important. Some are in the expected places (my dad is awesome), some are totally surprising. Don't be afraid to reach out to people, when you need for example clear and practical information, many people (even total strangers, or old acquitances) will try to help, just like they had been helped before. Just be careful about some false support (most typically official structures supposed to help you make the plans come true, but in reality trying to fit you into some role the society needs at the expense of your own well being and happiness).
Yes, the decision to abandon German has been a very good one, I feel relieved and refreshed
Perhaps it is not an adieu, I might succeed one day, if I find a different path towards German.
Honestly, I am surprised the blocks and bad feelings about Spanish, which some of you mention, aren't much more common.
Given the fact it is such a common language to learn, and also such a common language to be forced upon people in schools in many countries, I'd expect a much stronger backlash in the learner population. The stronger you push people, and the more people you push, the more likely to appear is the opposite of your desired goal.
The TCF will be interesting. I mean, the obligatory parts will be boring. Sure, some stuff may not be easy, but still boring. The active skills will be different. I can already see two challenges:
-the writing word limit. When I see some of the sample topics, fitting into the rather tiny limits will be hard. I wish I could find not only samples of the assignments, but also sample solutions with feedback. But that's hard to find for any exam
-speaking: I really need to prepare a nice 3 minute presentation of myself, without inappropriate or weird stuff, showing off the language skills, and not feeling nervous like during the concours. The rest will go well, it is supposed to be about the immediate reactions, I'm good at that. But the first part is prepared by everybody, I suppose.