Cavesa wrote:I hope my participation in this thread won't be unwelcome.
Never. Be comfortable to participate whenever you want to.
Cavesa wrote:But there are too many copies of it in one sentence, I'd say. I feel it breaks the flow a bit.
The second part of the sentence also feels less natural than the rest of the text.
My fault. That sounds extremely low-quality. I don't know how did I that. My excuse is I have few time to correct or review; I know this is a sort of mandatory recommendation when you write an essay, but my main goal (at least for the moment) is try to reach enough words in the less possible time. My current struggle is precisely this: How to sounds natural, but at the same time, how to show the difference between a C1 and a C2.
Cavesa wrote:It is great, that you show off your ability to create long sentences. Those are surely part of the expectations from a top student. But the short ones make the text a bit faster, they have a sort of a wake up effect on the reader.
You're right, I'm showing off, but let me explain why did I decide this way to write texts, I have two main reasons.
1) When I was studying for the PTE Academic (weeks after I realized that I actually was going to present the PTE General), there was a writing excercise asking for summarizin a text in only one sentence (Look: https://pearsonpte.com/the-test/format/ ... tten-text/). At that moment I didn't know how to do it, so I started to study specifically to built longer sentences (The longer, the better) And I enjoyed a lot the topic, so I kept doing so beyond the test.
2) After reaching C1, with no longer motivation to keep studying to reach the C2 per se, I found a TV show on Netflix: Bojack Horseman. I was amazed by the script: some of the characters has very long lines with unusual vocabulary mixed with some basic rude words (Mainly for humourous purposes). I really considered it appealing, funny and motivating, so I had already a model to follow. Let me give as an example this greeting:
Mr. Peanutbutter wrote:What is this? A mismatched buddy comedy about two guys from different sides of the track who learn to respect each other because they have a common interest and whose grudging respect blossoms into real friendship as they set aside their differences to achieve a shared goal, each bringing their own strength to the table?
I watched that and told myself: "I would like to write that way".
I could have a third reason: My favourite book of all time, which is also the book I have re-read most times and the longest book I have read whitout interruption, is "The Autumn of the Patriarch", written (In spanish) with extremely unusual long sentences. I loved this style
Cavesa wrote:One last question: how closely to the instructions are you supposed to stick? You have answered everything, you have showed a lot of skill. But you have gotten to the answers in the last third of the text. I don't know, what are the expectations in IELTS. But I would say putting at least a bit of the main answer to the beginning (or close to it) might make a good impression. You know, like a teaser.
This excercise is merely to have fluency, style, syntax complexity and vocabulary by typewriting in a given limit of time. I think answering the question could be the easy part once I have acquired the others. I'm going to be more careful in order to be clear with my future answers, mainly concerning "provide conclusions". IELTS have clear criteria, one of them is Adressing the task (Answer the question) with these descriptors:
Thanks a lot for your comments