Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby eido » Sun Aug 16, 2020 1:23 am

El Forastero wrote:BASIC ANSWER:
The text presents “revealing coloration”. It is a defensive strategy employed by some animals that use bright colors on* some parts of their bodies to confuse predators and have a chance to escape. The professor gives as an example the case of an insect called the “peanut bug”. This bug has on* its back wings some bright and colorful spots, but this part of its body is usually hidden. Whenever a predator is attacking it, it opens its wings to display these bright colors. The predator can be confused or distracted by this strategy and that provides the bug an opportunity to escape.

ADVANCED ANSWER:
The text presents to the reader “revealing coloration,” which is a defensive strategy some animals employ by using some bright-colored parts of their bodies to both confuse potential predators and also have a chance to escape when attacked. The professor gives two examples to illustrate this strategy; one of them being the case of an insect from South America called the “peanut bug,” which has on its back wings bright and colorful spots. Most of the time, when no risk is detected, the bug keeps these shining* spots hidden, but it can suddenly open its wings to display them if a predator attacks, becoming as a result confused or even distracted, and providing the bug with an opportunity to escape.

*In = inside the wings
*On = on top of the wings
*Shining = are the spots really shining or did you just use the word to make your text sound more fancy?

All the corrections, including deletions or additions, are included within the quoted text.

Try to vary your responses more so they look less like the same text with different words. Go for the gold! ;)
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby El Forastero » Sun Aug 16, 2020 4:49 pm

Hello Eido, thanks a lot for your corrections

eido wrote:*Shining = are the spots really shining or did you just use the word to make your text sound more fancy?


Well, I haven't had the pleasure to meet the peanut bug, but according to the transcription, no. The peanut bug has bright colorful spots, but other insect mentioned in the lecture (about which the question doesn't ask anything) does have shiny parts. I try to use te word "bright" only once or twice, so I use "shiny" in this part as a synonym, apparently in a wrong sense.

This is the lecture transcription:

The professor in the lecture wrote:There’s a large tropical insect called the peanut bug—yes, like the peanuts that you eat—uh, and the peanut bug’s front wings are colored so that they blend in with their surroundings. But its back wings—which are usually closed and hidden— have these bright, colorful spots on them. And when the peanut bug’s attacked, it suddenly opens its back wings, and out pop these big, bright colors. And that surprises the predator, and gives the peanut bug a chance to get away.

Um, and then you have a butterfly … called the morpho butterfly. And parts of the morpho butterfly’s wings are very shiny, they reflect a lot of sunlight; when this butterfly is resting, this shiny part of its wings is hidden … Now, morpho butterflies are often attacked by birds … So when a bird approaches, the morpho flies away … and when the morpho flap its wings, all the bird can see are flashes of light reflected from the morpho’s wings. Those flashes of light make it very difficult for the bird to follow the morpho, and the morpho is usually able to get away.
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby El Forastero » Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:02 am

I started this thread two years ago but I haven't presented the exam yet. I had postponed it indefinitly until now. I'll be back to my excercise, but this time with a deadline: I'm doing the IELTS in five weeks

That's why I'm going to change my strategy: I need to write shorter essays (no more than 280 words or so) with the structure IELTS recommends. That allows me to have time to read again and make some corrections. Conscious that I have 40 minutes to accomplish the task, I need to write the answer in 25-30 minutes in order to have 10 minutes to correct. I started today an I could do it: 257 words in 21 minutes.

So, feel free to destroy my texts, I'll write at least 30 essays before the exam. Thank you in advance
Last edited by El Forastero on Mon Apr 19, 2021 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby El Forastero » Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:03 am

If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.


I was graduated from high school 30 years ago. In the last three decades, the world has experienced a tremendous transformation in every subject you can imagine, so there are dozens of potential changes that I willingly would make there to make the students learn easier and be happier.

First of all, I would derogate some inconvenient and anachronistic rules that stubbornly remained and avoid gender equality among students. For instance, some uniform-related directions, being segregates by gender in some areas like sports or arts, or being forced to learn military-like courtesy which stablish a narrative of obedience and monolithic hierarchy you should respect with no questioning

Secondly, I would propose a real critical thinking area which really teaches students how to evaluate the reality and how to have an informed criteria about social situations, although being against what the high school considered convenient or right. This point included to get the curriculum completely free from religion.

That leads me to my third suggestion point, which is a different way to handle disciplinary issues among students. Back in my days, even physical punishment was kind of accepted and tolerated, in addition to pejorative treatment, all of this supported by both religious misinterpretations of rules and the permanent reminding of obedience as a virtue.

Whit these three modifications, I'm sure my former high school would be a better place for new generations, especially women that were taught and educated those years just to be "someone's wife" instead of a real professional woman full of opportunities to be developed

257 words. 21 minutes
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby El Forastero » Mon Apr 19, 2021 2:23 pm

People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

Work is an esential part of everyone's life. On average, we spend half of our adulthood awaken time working and that allows us to pay the most basic necessities like food and shelter. But beyond them, there are other motivations to work to consider when we decide to accept, to change or to start a new job, position or entrepreneurship.

Self development is one of these motivations. Sometimes a job can be well paid but doesn't offer opportunities to personal growth in addition to the financial indicators: There's nothing to learn or your tasks are pointless. When we asked people who volunteer on social projects, not very seldom they perform his helpful work because they have been stuck in a not-rewarding and unsatisfactory job.

Another of these reasons is the urgence of being busy, with responsibilities to be in charge of. That's the case of elderly people after their retirement. Sometimes they have a strong need to feel themselves as productive as anyone else. Of course they couldn't perform the same task that full-of-energy youngsters in their twenties, but they can share their knowledge or experience in minor tasks in neighborhood associations, churches or other institutions.

Finally, a third group of motivations can be the simple pleasure of helping others and being grateful with the world. If you have had the opportunity to achieve your goals, why don't we help others to do the same making their path easier?

As a conclusion, money is a crucial resource and we need to work to obtain it. However, once financial responsibilities are covered, the world is no longer this jungle where we are force to be alert using our job not only as a tool but also as a weapon to defend our lives.

292 words, 22 minutes
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby kundalini » Mon Apr 19, 2021 3:30 pm

El Forastero wrote:I was graduated from high school 30 years ago. In the last three decades, the world has experienced a tremendous transformation in every subject you can imagine, so there are dozens of potential changes that I willingly would make there to make the students learn easier and be happier.

First of all, I would derogate some inconvenient and anachronistic rules that stubbornly remained and avoid gender equality among students. For instance, some uniform-related directions, being segregates segregated by gender in some areas like sports or arts, or being forced to learn military-like courtesy which stablishestablish a narrative of obedience and monolithic hierarchy you should respect with no questioning

Secondly, I would propose a real critical thinking area which really teaches students how to evaluate the reality and how to have an informed criteria about social situations, although being against what the high school considered convenient or right. This suggestion included to getdivorces the curriculum completely free from religion.

That leads me to my third suggestion point, which is a different way to handle disciplinary issues among students. Back in my days, even physical punishment was kind of accepted and tolerated, in addition to pejorative treatment, all of this supported by both religious misinterpretations of rules and the permanent remindingreminders of obedience as a virtue.

Whit these three modifications, I'm sure my former high school would be a better place for new generations, especially women that were taught and educated those years just to be "someone's wife" instead of a real professional woman full of opportunities to be developed

257 words. 21 minutes


Well done! I corrected a few errors that stood out to me.
Last edited by kundalini on Mon Apr 19, 2021 6:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby El Forastero » Mon Apr 19, 2021 3:33 pm

Thank you very much, Kundalini :)
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby eido » Mon Apr 19, 2021 3:55 pm

El Forastero wrote:People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

Work is an esential part of everyone's life. On average, we spend half of our waking time in adulthood working and that allows us to pay the most basic necessities like food and shelter. But beyond those, there are other motivations to work and consider when we decide to accept, to change or to start a new job, position or business venture.

Self development is one of these motivations. Sometimes a job can pay well but not offer opportunities for personal growth in addition to financial indicators: Often, when this happens, there's nothing to learn or your tasks are pointless. When we observed people who volunteer on social projects, we noticed they seldom perform their correct duties because they have been stuck in an unrewarding or unsatisfactory job.

Another one of these reasons is the need to be busy, with responsibilities to be in charge of. That's the case of elderly people after their retirement. Sometimes they have a strong need to make themselves as productive as anyone else. Of course they're not able to perform the same task that full-of-energy youngsters in their twenties can, but they can share their knowledge or experience in minor tasks in neighborhood associations, churches or other institutions.

Finally, a third group of motivations can be the simple pleasure of helping others and being grateful for the world. If you have had the opportunity to achieve your goals, why shouldn't you help others to do the same?

To conclude, money is a crucial resource and we need to work to obtain it. However, once financial responsibilities are covered, the world is no longer this jungle where we are forced to be alert using our job not only as a tool but also as a weapon to defend our lives.

292 words, 22 minutes

Excellently written! I could easily see your points without too much of a hindrance. I tried to correct it to more natural, flowy English. Some of it I made a little stiffer 'cause I don't know how you'll be graded and it's always good to know alternate ways to word things, but other than that, I think you did well. If you have any questions, message me or write here.
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby El Forastero » Mon Apr 19, 2021 5:10 pm

Thank you very much, Eido. :)
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Re: Forastero's TOEFL/IELTS essays. (Corrections are very welcome)

Postby El Forastero » Wed Apr 21, 2021 3:17 am

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.


In the last decade, internet content has been created in an amount that surpass all the information produced in the whole previous mankind history. Some people consider that is overwhelming, but I'm convinced that this is simply fascinating because of several reasons.

I'm currently 45 years old, so I had lived more than 20 years when I discovered internet. That's why I currently know how both studies and entertainment were those years and how they are today.

The massive amount of information can be a problem only if I don't have the mental and technological tools to discriminate it and take advantage of the portion that can solve a specific need that I can have at a given time. Let's say I want to know about Jupiter and Google give me millions of sites about it. If I didn't know which results can be more convenient concerning my need, this information jungle could trap me and absorbe my time with no positive result, moving erraticly around pages with irrelevant content regarding my original purposes.

Unlike years ago, when curiosity was extremely hard and time consuming to be satisfied, nowadays I can solve every question in a bunch of seconds. The limit is my own imagination, but I need to be prepared to face also the disadvantages: Fake news, plagiarism, apocriphal quotes, biased content, propaganda and fallacious conclusions are permanently threathening me, hidden cautiously among the relevant content. As in any other jungle, danger is around the next corner, but if I anticipate it by having critical thinking and basic reading skills, internet will be marvelous and even more rewarding than I can imagine back in my school years.


274 words, 23 minutes (with 2 minutes of a short revision)
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