2019 Korean Log

[suko]

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[suko]

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[suko]

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[suko]

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[suko]

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[suko]

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[suko]

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[eido]

Ew, I get creepy guys writing messages to me there, too.

One time I had a guy who claimed to speak Danish as his native language, and Chinese at a C1 level. I thought, "Hey. That's pretty cool. But also unlikely." Now, I realize that might offend as you're a Swedish speaker learning Korean, but this guy also had a profile picture that made him look like a stalker: a salt-and-pepper haired white guy with a V-neck navy shirt. My stalker senses binged like crazy.

He also pulled on of the classic things I consider to be a creep move: asking me where I'm from when my profile clearly displays it. Or asking my name when it's plastered everywhere, even in the message center. I recently had another guy tell me he wanted to know my name because he wasn't familiar with American names, and I guess in hindsight that's creepy, but the flow of the conversation was normal enough so I trusted him. I mean, my display name is my real life nickname, so it's not like I could lie... Or could I?

The one time my interactions on italki went really south was the time I decided to trust an older Mexican man. We exchanged Skype usernames, and he started giving me bad vibes after a few rounds of conversation because he asked for my phone number. I said no. I then said I didn't trust him and wanted to end the conversation, and he said things like, "Well, where are you going to find someone as great as me? I'm a professor, highly skilled in languages. Even your native Polish." I had told him I had Polish heritage, and I probably shouldn't have because that allowed him to manipulate me. I said, "My other Spanish conversation partner..." and he said, "He's no good. I am. You're so ungrateful, not trusting me and going to him instead!"

What I regret most about it is I told him some personal information because I trusted him just enough, and I suppose that's what he wanted.

I guess I didn't get burned enough, because I still have an older male Korean conversation partner. So far he hasn't done anything weird and has tried to verify his identity in various ways, like taking a picture of his business card that shows that he works for the company he mentioned working for. He also took screenshots of his work email that displayed his name in Korean and English. But because of the situation I mentioned, and another that happened in real life, I'm very hesitant to trust that he's for real and not just pretending to be a PhD in engineering - because, after all, the Mexican guy had seemed nice enough, skilled, and charming. Of course, this Korean guy isn't charming, but he's pushy enough that my doormat personality can't resist helping to improve his English.

I thought I had been well-prepared for the Internet and its dangers by general life up until this point, but my desperation for human company, validation, and self-improvement has made me vulnerable.

You never can be too careful.

However, I did meet a fun Korean guy from italki that I've been talking to for months, and he's so awkward that I don't doubt his authenticity as yet. So it's not all bad.

[Christi]

Shame to hear about your experiences on iTalki. Unfortunately this is always the case for women online and happens everywhere. I usually turn off options allowing others to contact or just create a gender neutral looking profile.

Still insane women need to do this and can't use the internet without worrying about creeps or harassment.

Hope things will get better for you.

[suko]

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