Does being antisocial make it more difficult to use/learn a language?

[reineke]

Social Anxiety
Avoidant Personality
Anti-social
Introverted Personality
asocial
shy...

Being anti-social is different from being shy and both are different from being introverted. Language is more than speaking. Look up Emil Krebs. You'll be fine.

[tomgosse]

I'm not sure if "antisocial" is the word to use here, but I can't think of a better one at the moment. I can be social...it just normally has to be on my own terms (I know it sounds selfish when I say it like that, but I can't help the way I feel).

I'm not a very outgoing person. I often feel more comfortable going home and reading a book or watching a DVD by myself than I do going out to a restaurant or a pub. This isn't to say that I don't like going out, I do...but not as often as others seem to and it's awkward because some people find it difficult to understand that. Sometimes people take it as almost a personal insult when I'd rather be indoors on my own than go out for a drink with them.

You sound like a classic introvert. Here is a good article on introversion: Caring For Your Introvert.

All the best,
Tom

[James29]

I think you should not feel guilty over the way you are, or try to change that by force, not even for the sake of language learning. What I do is find some people, native speakers of my target language on sites like Interpals( preferably the ones I have things in common with and enjoy talking to) and maintain correspondence through texting/ Skype/ Whatsapp.

True, but probably easier said than done. Somehow people (whether they intend to or not) have a way of making you feel guilty about not going out no matter how sure you are that it's the right decision for you.

You are the only person in the world who can make you feel guilty. When I learned that feeling guilt is a choice my life changed for the better. Just be who you are and simply don't feel guilty for who you are.

[jeff_lindqvist]

Difficult to use/learn? For whom? How do you (want to) use the language and how do you learn?

I came to think of Julia Barnickle's presentation:
Do introverts make the best polyglots? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dQ1NxLjC8U

(The room was packed, so apparently no shortage of introvert and shy polyglots.)

[aabram]

I'm in the same boat, but I've mostly stopped worrying about it. I've started to look at it as having domain specific strengths and weaknesses. I keep oral interaction at minimum even in my native language so why push it in foreign language? For what abstract purpose? To prove that "I know the language?" Bah, humbug!

I don't feel guilty about not going to meetups and international coffe club events and whatnot. It's just not the way I function. My strenghts lie elsewhere. I can read scientific literature in Spanish and French but I couldn't talk my way out of the brown paper bag even if my life depended on it. And so what? It's not my thing. I'm a translator, not interpreter and that is totally fine. I know many people who speak splendid English but who canno't string together comprehensible sentence to put on paper when they need to translate something. They can charm the devil with their speech but when the grab the pen (or keyboard, for that matter), it all falls apart. That's just not their strength. But it is mine. There's no right or wrong way to learn or to apply language. Do what you're best at.

[desitrader]

I am an introvert and for that reason I didn't continue my Skype language exchange with a language partner. I do however go to a monthly German group as I can sit at the far corner and talk only when I feel like talking. I invariably end up talking a lot because the group is now very familiar.

[garyb]

I'm around the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum and I'm never sure whether it's the best or the worst of both worlds. I love to be around people and speak with them, but I'm not very good at it and I can only do so much before I need some time for myself. I suppose that like others have said it's about accepting who you are and finding what works, and finding the line between healthily going out of your comfort zone and unhealthily forcing yourself to do things that wear you down and just don't suit you.

I have mixed opinions on language/international meetup groups. Unless you're very extroverted and confident, especially when speaking a second language, it's hard to get the most out of them. The conversation tends to be dominated by the most talkative people, and if the attendees are mostly learners it can become a sort of competition to have a chance to talk to the natives. On the other hand, a good group (balance of learners and natives, not too cliquey, and perhaps with an organiser who tries to give everyone a turn) can be an easy and comfortable way of getting face-to-face speaking experience: everybody knows that you're there to practise the language and should be patient.

These days I generally prefer either one-to-one conversations (exchanges, tutors, native-speaker friends) or groups with people whom I already know. I used to go to a lot of meetup groups but I mostly stopped because they didn't suit me for various reasons: a French one had many learners and few helpful natives; an Italian one just wasn't that interesting and I have enough other opportunities; a general "language café" was too hit-or-miss and in a very noisy bar; and an "international social meetup" was too English-dominated and often cliquey and unfriendly.

[aokoye]

Social Anxiety
Avoidant Personality
Anti-social
Introverted Personality
asocial
shy...

Being anti-social is different from being shy and both are different from being introverted. Language is more than speaking. Look up Emil Krebs. You'll be fine.

However being anti-social doesn't mean that you can't also be shy, have social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, etc. Mind you the first two are actually diagnosis in the DSM but again, not mutually exclusive and it's not somehow shameful to be diagnosed with them.

[reineke]

Sure. There's a long list of personality types and conditions that may overlap in their descriptions and that are not mutually exclusive. People with all sorts of personalities can become successful language learners. They will likely come up with different approaches to language learning.

[aokoye]

People with all sorts of personalities can become successful language learners. They will likely come up with different approaches to language learning.

I would hope that no one would disagree with you there!