Is language learning socially acceptable?

General discussion about learning languages
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Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby 94000d » Sat Jun 18, 2022 12:39 am

Why or why not? I'm in America.

EDIT: As a hobby.
Last edited by 94000d on Sat Jun 18, 2022 1:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby Lawyer&Mom » Sat Jun 18, 2022 12:50 am

As a hobby? I think people are indifferent. You might as well be stamp collecting or making sailboats in bottles. Language learning is harmless. It’s socially acceptable but not wildly impressive.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby sherbert » Sat Jun 18, 2022 3:55 am

In the USA, the more "familiar" the language, the more socially acceptable it is. The top of the list would be French, which is not terribly useful, but is not perceived as threatening, in that the cultures or countries that it represents do not carry many negative connotations.

The further down the list you go, even in terms of "popular" languages, the less receptivity there is to learning those languages. People much more educated than me have found it strange that I have learned Chinese and Farsi. The irony is that in the USA you are more likely to hear a language like Vietnamese or Arabic than Italian or German, but studying Italian or German is not thought to be as eccentric. And God help you if you study a language that no one has ever heard of.

In a country like the USA being able to speak a refined, polished English is what will advance you socially much more than speaking multiple languages at high levels. Yes language learning is socially acceptable, but the difficulty of learning another language is underappreciated and unfortunately is only regarded as an amusing party trick by many people.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby sporedandroid » Sat Jun 18, 2022 5:27 am

It depends on how practical people see it as. For most people the only purpose of learning a language is to speak it. Which is why people have a weird reaction to more unusual languages. People have an even weirder reaction when they find out I don’t really plan to speak anyways. So I don’t like to discuss language learning in real life. People see that as pretentious. I guess learning things that aren’t practical is pretentious to people.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby BeaP » Sat Jun 18, 2022 6:46 am

Here people see the importance of language learning. Everybody would like to speak at least English (and maybe German) on a high level, but most people only succeed partially. They leave school with a lower level and after that they don't find the time and the means to continue. When they have to do it to get a job for example they struggle immensely. So they mostly envy those who have reached their goal. A hobbyist who might even enjoy learning is envied even more. The reaction I most often get beside envy (they say 'Lucky you', as I was born with the knowledge of these languages) is disbelief ('You can't be able to read in all those languages.') and surprise.

Some people also bend their system of values according to their abilities. It's not a rule, but it happens. Those who can't drive well (are afraid to drive) protect the environment loudly on bikes. Those who don't speak foreign languages become 'patriots' and spend their holidays exclusively in our 'beautiful country'.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby zenmonkey » Sat Jun 18, 2022 7:45 am

Sure. But what isn’t really acceptable is bragging about hobbies or knowledge sets. You don’t need to tell everyone you’re fluent in abcdfg languages.

What can be problematic is ‘suspect’ languages.

When I was studying Arabic/Tibetan/Hebrew I have been asked why? And challenged in unacceptable ways about these language choices, usually around religious and/or political aspects.

I’m learning Persian and someone I know quipped “well I guess it’s come to this. It is necessary now in America”
It was a stupid comment (I WISH it was necessary!) when I asked what he meant he just vaguely backed out of the conversation.

Attitudes about certain languages are much more positive.

One of my daughters does say “no magic in front of the muggles”. Which is just a reflection on one of my rules - use language inclusively. Try not to have an in-speak conversation when actively interacting with non speakers. That’s rude and that’s certainly not very socially acceptable.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby David27 » Sat Jun 18, 2022 10:53 am

I’ve never had a negative reaction. It has helped me as an icebreaker having a few languages on my résumé in interviews (I just put ones that I had studied extensively and could back up with certificates: French, Spanish, Russian). My family, friends, and wife think it’s positive, but that’s not why they like me, and I don’t usually talk about it with them unless there is a direct reason to. Some of my close friends I made actually because of language learning, like my group of friends in New York who are Russian-speaking. Speaking Spanish well has helped me professionally. As others have mentioned, just don’t be annoying with it: no bragging or showboating, don’t use in social situations where not everyone will understand and could leave some people out, no boring people with long discussions on language learning plans or dreams (that’s what this forum is an outlet for lol). I don’t directly hide that I’m learning languages, if people find out that’s cool, and I haven’t had bad reactions ever, but it’s more on a “need-to-know” basis.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby zgriptsuroica » Sat Jun 18, 2022 12:57 pm

Aside from people getting bothered for political reason ("This is America, we speak English so why would you waste your time learning Spanish?" or "But only communists/terrorists/etc speak that language"), I don't see much backlash aside from people who can't talk about anything else. The people who would make the political comments give me a pretty good filter of people I don't want to associate with anyway.

If you bring it up out of the blue and can't read the room to tell others aren't interested, it can definitely come off as bragging or being tone-deaf and socially inept, but that applies just as much to people who can only speak about their sweet EV training scheme to dominate the Pokémon meta, or fountain pens, or whatever other hobby they might have.

The worst reaction I get frequently is "Oh, it's easy for you to learn languages, I wish I could do that but I'm no good at it," which I find dismissive of my hard work and rather insulting, though not necessarily intentional. It's not easy for me, but I find the end result worth the thousands of hours put into learning a language so that I can enjoy using it. Sure, I've gotten better at the process of learning a language and could definitely pick one up faster than someone learning their first language, especially if it's related to one of my stronger ones, but that didn't come out of nowhere, either. I think a lot of monolingual people have this curiously warped view of learning another language to a high level as simultaneously extremely difficult and commendable, yet also easy and the result of a natural gift for those who do manage to do it by some means. The difficulty provides cover for why they in particular never pulled it off, but they're oddly dismissive of the efforts of people who elect to spend their evenings at home going through a textbook or struggling through their first novel or television series in their target language instead of going out with friends or heading to the bar. It would be a bit like myself looking at someone in really great shape and saying "Wow, I wish I was as lean and muscular as you, but it's so hard. You have it easy since you have a gift for it." Meanwhile, I haven't been to the gym regularly in three years, but someone I fail to factor that into why I've put on a belly.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby Ug_Caveman » Sat Jun 18, 2022 1:59 pm

Depends very much on the preconceptions surrounding the languages and the bias of whoever is judging you.

For example, I study Dutch - an uncommon second language to study as an English speaker. I've had plenty of people immediately jump to the idea I'm doing this because I want to live some hedonistic lifestyle in Amsterdam :twisted: (when in reality it was more a case of trying everything and eventually settling on a language I liked and was able to grasp reasonably well.)

I've also had Dutch people themselves go "Why on Earth are you doing that?" because they simply prefer to speak English (Flemish people are far more receptive) - although when they realised I was a serious learner who could string sentences together and pronounce things correctly, they warmed quite a lot.

If I studied French or Spanish or Italian (or potentially German depending on whom I was speaking to - there are still a fair amount of people in the UK who dislike Germany) no one would bat an eyelid beyond saying something like "oh wow, I wish I could speak that!" Something like Japanese would probably get a very interested response, something along the lines of "oh that's very difficult/impressive!"

Other languages like Russian, Arabic or Mandarin Chinese would definitely draw polarising responses depending on the person you're speaking to. (For what it's worth, I have legitimate reasons to study all three of these languages, but not the time to even try and get started.)

(Oh, and if it was something like Welsh, it may well get some sense of derision given the language is still mocked widely as the subject of jokes in England.)

Some people in the UK believe language learning is a total waste of time in general, and these people will never be won around because 'everybody speaks English!' - I teach several students who hold this worldview and don't care about even trying to get the bare minimum grades in French or Spanish - which I feel is a crying shame.
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Re: Is language learning socially acceptable?

Postby iguanamon » Sat Jun 18, 2022 2:11 pm

Variations of this question come up here every once in a while. First, language-learning is not something I feel compelled to discuss with people who are not interested. The fact that I can speak a few languages comes up occasionally when I'm with a friend(s) and they may happen to see me reading a book, watching something or listening to something, or speaking with someone in another language. Then, we'll talk about it.

I like to sail. I don't go around talking about sailing all the time to others, either. If they ask or are interested, I am happy to talk with them about it.

Thanks to the wonders of technology, we have a place to discuss our hobby here, online, to our hearts' content.
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