Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

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tomgosse
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby tomgosse » Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:57 am

I bought this book in 1960 when I was ten years old. I looked, but I didn't learn. :(
look and learn.jpg
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby Iversen » Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:05 am

It may not be a language program in the strictest sense of the word, but I had to throw the red Gyldendal Danish-Latin dictionary into the paper bin because it drove me to despair. I could live with a Latin dictionary that didn't have a word for "computer software" or "bioengineer", but this dictionary didn't even have translations for the simplest Danish words - I can't give examples since I have thrown the dictionary out, but imagine that you couldn't find a translation for "despair" or "junk" in your dictionary .. you get the idea! It was probably based on an older Danish attempt from 1870 (by Ove Kjær), which I still have standing on my shelf for sentimental reasons, and maybe supplemented with material from foreign dictionaries, but my impression was that it was made by taking a Latin-Danish dictionary and simply turning the direction around. So unless you thought in the same way as a Roman citizen from Cesar's time you would constantly be in trouble.

Any dictionary which goes from a base language into a target language should first and foremost be based on the kind of words a modern user might want to look up - and then it's the business of the dictionary compiler to find good translations (or in some cases explain why there aren't any). And my New College Dictionary, which I bought in Manila, shows that it can be done. But the only people who might have any use for the Gyldendal dictionary are students who were ordered to make retranslations as part of a grammar-translation course in Latin. Anybody who might want to express his/her own thoughts will get stone for bread with such a dictionary. And I don't want to gnash into stone just because I want to tell about my daily routines in Latin!

For a somewhat different opinion, please read this review .. 5 stars!
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby emk » Fri Oct 30, 2015 3:42 pm

That's an easy question, and I can find a course much worse than the usual over-hyped suspects. :-) The infamous English as She is Spoke is so awful that it becomes a work of art. As Mark Twain wrote, "Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect."

Here are some English phrases suggested by the book. All spelling errors and capitalization issues are copied verbatim from the English-only Appleton edition:

Familiar Phrases.

Go to send for.
Have you say that?
Have you understand that he says?
At what purpose have say so?
Put your confidence at my.
At what o'clock dine him?
Apply you at the study during that you are young.
Dress your hairs.
Sing an area.
These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in mouth.



To inform one'self of a person.

How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by.

Is a German.

Tongh he is German, he speak so much well
italyan, french, spanish, and english, that
among the Italyans, they believe him Ital-
yan, he speak the frenche as the Frenches
himselves. The Spanishesmen belie ve
him Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englis-
man.

It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages.

I think that should be our forum motto: "It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages." :-)

How did this even happen? According to Wikipedia:

It is widely believed that Carolino could not speak English, and that a French–English dictionary was used to translate an earlier Portuguese–French phrase book, O Novo guia da conversação em francês e português, written by José da Fonseca. Carolino likely added Fonseca's name to the book without his permission in an attempt to give it some credibility. The Portuguese–French phrase book is apparently a competent work, without the defects that characterize English As She Is Spoke.

You can find the complete bilingual text of the original on Google Books:
english-as-she-is-spoke-gurgling.png

Or you can read the English-only Appleton edition online at the Internet Archive. It's a hilarious way to spend an hour.
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby Montmorency » Fri Oct 30, 2015 5:03 pm

Seeing the reference to Mark Twain reminds me that Jerome K. Jerome had some fun with this sort of thing in his sequel to "Three Men in a Boat", "Three Men on the Bummel".

J and his two friends are set to go on a cycling holiday in Germany. While they are waiting to join the boat in a port in England, one of them produces a phrasebook of the sort used by visitors to Britain at that time, and proceeds to go from shop to shop near the port, using only phrases from the book, and to see how far he gets. (Needless to say, not far).

Later on, Jerome mocks the (in)ability of the average English person to learn languages and describes his own difficulties learning German at school.
(In fact, he was apparently fluent in German and something of a Germanophile).
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby tomgosse » Fri Oct 30, 2015 5:57 pm

emk wrote:I think that should be our forum motto: "It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages." :-)

Without a doubt ! :lol:
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby astromule » Sat Oct 31, 2015 1:57 am

Yes, please! Along with the advice to young learners:
"Apply you at the study during that you are young"

emk wrote:It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages.

I think that should be our forum motto: "It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages." :-)[/quote]
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby astromule » Sat Oct 31, 2015 2:00 am

But did you really, really looked? Perhaps if you had used a magnifying glass... or a microscope...

tomgosse wrote:I bought this book in 1960 when I was ten years old. I looked, but I didn't learn. :(
look and learn.jpg
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby rdearman » Sat Oct 31, 2015 11:20 am

Love Twain.

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
- The Innocents Abroad
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby t123 » Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:53 pm

It's unsurprisingly Rosetta Stone has received many mentions, but surprisingly it's probably the best of bad bunch of similar type. For example here is Easy Language 25 World Languages. I think the reviews give a good description. There are just so many of these copy & paste from one language to another with some pictures and audio, that when you look at Rosetta Stone it really does look good in comparison.

So an honourable mention to Rosetta Stone, the best of a bunch of completely useless language program.
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Re: Contest: The Worst Language Programmes Ever

Postby Atinkoriko » Tue Apr 11, 2017 1:40 am

Reviving this thread just for the sheer hilarity of 'English as she is Spoke'
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