CAE\IELTS\TOEFL\CPE essays

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Ольга
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CAE\IELTS\TOEFL\CPE essays

Postby Ольга » Tue Jun 21, 2016 2:50 pm

I hope nobody would be against creating such a thread.

My first essay:
The public in general tend to believe that positive thinking is essential in our life.
One cannot deny that a capability to think positive might beat any kinds of anxiety and increase productivity. It is generally agreed that it is fairly crucial to be able to achieve a success, relieving excessive stress and accomplishing long-term goals.

The first thing that needs to be said that to overcome nervousness and be productive are equally vital. Nonetheless, in a critical situation is highly indispensable to be concentrated and fulfill the goal. That's why, it's undeniable that to be able to cope with stress helps to prevent occasional mistakes. Furthermore, sometimes it might be significant to be confident and relaxed. Feeling at ease, any person might achieve better results. However, some students can't combat stress with positive thinking. But, on the whole. stress-management is highly effective with positive thinking.

Secondly, a possibility to boost efficiency is eminently desirable nowadays. Students, who can expand their capacity, show better results. What is more, individuals, who produce a greater output, have more time for leisure activity. It goes without saying that students, who have more free time for themselves, are more diligent and industrious. Nevertheless, some students might substitute self-encouragement for hard work what can lead to disappointing performance. Albeit, one must admit, that thinking positive is a great tool to enhance efficiency and, as a consequence, to find additional spare time to take rest.

Taking everything into consideration, one may conclude that benefits of self-encouragement are valuable equally. Reducing stress and improving productivity take the same proportions as the results of positive thinking. We would not be persistent in the pursuit of our goals, if we did not reassure themselves.
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Ольга
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Re: CAE\IELTS\TOEFL\CPE essays

Postby Ольга » Tue Jun 21, 2016 8:04 pm

Never has this been more obvious, that people can't build a successful future without saving the historical past. Although it is widely accepted that governments should preserve cultural heritage, nowadays to museums and old buildings are rarely dedicated enough attention, efforts, time and money. It is argued what is more significant funds to donate.

First and foremost, we should care about museums, because they are either part of our past, as well as part of our future. If it were for museums, people would not be well-educated, well-bred and enlightened. Artifacts of history, art and science of past centuries, which are kept in museums, gives us an opportunity to widen our knowledge and helps to save us from ignorance. Insufficient funding leads to improper keeping of exhibitions and galleries, what might end in a damage of priceless items, causing a progressive lose of invaluable objects of art and culture, and, as the result, impossibility to study and learn history, visiting museums.

Secondly, it is highly indispensable to protect old buildings from deterioration, because ancient architecture is a monument of our culture, history and development. If were not for architectural legacy, our cities and villages would have such an appearance, like they have today. Classical constructions of palaces and monumental impressiveness of churches can't leave us indifferent. Preserving old buildings, renovating and repairing them, we build our future for our children. A modest beauty of rural houses, built by craftsmen long ago, can't but attract attention, warm the cockles of any citizen's heart, impress and inspire young learners.

All things considered, it can be concluded that museums and ancient buildings should be protected equally. Mass-media and entertainment, if it's possible, might call for donators. Protecting museums and preservation of architectural heritage is the next step in humans' evolution.
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iguanamon
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Re: CAE\IELTS\TOEFL\CPE essays

Postby iguanamon » Tue Jun 21, 2016 9:02 pm

I will try to help. Please bear in mind that I am neither an English teacher nor a grammar expert. Others may differ with my corrections as a lot oif it is subjective, and, as I have said, I am not an English language expert. I'm just a native speaker of English. I may miss some of your errors or misunderstand the meaning you are intending to convey. Your essay is very good but it does contain some errors. Some are stylistic and some are grammatical. It is difficult and very time consuming to correct long texts, which is probably one of the reasons you have gotten few responses despite the overwhelming number of native English-speakers here. This forum is not the best place on the web to get corrections for writing. My variety of English is American.
Olga wrote:Never has this been more obvious, that people can't build a successful future without saving the historical past. Although it is widely accepted that governments should preserve cultural heritage, nowadays to museums and old buildings are rarely dedicated enough attention, efforts, time and money. It is argued what is more significant funds to donate.

It has never been more obvious that people can't build a successful future without saving the historical past (or you could just say "history". Although it is widely accepted that governments should preserve cultural heritage, nowadays it is rare that sufficient attention, effort, time and money are dedicated to museums and old ( I would say "historic" here- "old" can also mean not historic but simply outdated) buildings. (This last sentence is difficult to make sense out of, so I will have to guess as to what you may mean to convey) It can be argued that what is most significant is the donation of sufficient funds.

First and foremost, we should care about museums, because they are either part of our past, as well as part of our future. If it were for museums, people would not be well-educated, well-bred and enlightened. Artifacts of history, art and science of past centuries, which are kept in museums, gives us an opportunity to widen our knowledge and helps to save us from ignorance. Insufficient funding leads to improper keeping of exhibitions and galleries, what might end in a damage of priceless items, causing a progressive lose of invaluable objects of art and culture, and, as the result, impossibility to study and learn history, visiting museums.

First and foremost, we should care about museums, because they are either part of our past, as well as part of our future. If it were weren't for museums, people would not be well-educated, well-bred and enlightened. Artifacts of history Historical artifacts, art and science of past centuries, which are kept in museums, gives give ("the subject is plural so the verb should agree) us an opportunity to widen our knowledge and helps (verb agreement) to save us from ignorance. Insufficient funding leads to improper keeping of exhibitions and galleries, what which might ("may" or "could" would probably be better here) end in a (article not needed here) damage of priceless items [img]thereby[/img] causing a progressive lose of invaluable objects of art and culture. As a result, impossibility this would make it very difficult to study and learn history by visiting museums.

Secondly, it is highly indispensable to protect old buildings from deterioration, because ancient architecture is a monument of our culture, history and development. If were not for architectural legacy, our cities and villages would have such an appearance, like they have today. Classical constructions of palaces and monumental impressiveness of churches can't leave us indifferent. Preserving old buildings, renovating and repairing them, we build our future for our children. A modest beauty of rural houses, built by craftsmen long ago, can't but attract attention, warm the cockles of any citizen's heart, impress and inspire young learners.

Secondly, it is highly indispensable to protect old historic buildings from deterioration, because ancient historic ("ancient" is generally used to describe very old things like the pyramids of Egypt, the Coliseum of Rome, etc.) architecture is a monument of our culture, history and development. If were not for architectural legacy, our cities and villages would wouldn't have such an appearance, like they have today. The classical construction of palaces and the monumental impressiveness of churches can't leave us indifferent. By preserving old historic buildings, renovating and repairing them, we are building our future for our children. A The modest beauty of rural houses, built by craftsmen long ago, can't help but attract attention and warm the cockles of any citizen's heart. They also impress and inspire young learners.

All things considered, it can be concluded that museums and ancient buildings should be protected equally. Mass-media and entertainment, if it's possible, might call for donators. Protecting museums and preservation of architectural heritage is the next step in humans' evolution.

All things considered, it can be concluded that museums and ancient historic buildings should be protected equally. Mass-media and the entertainment sector might could call for donators donors or "donations" ("donators" is a word in English, but it is not commonly used to express this concept). Protecting museums and preservation of architectural heritage is the next step in humans' human evolution.
Last edited by iguanamon on Tue Jun 21, 2016 9:52 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Ольга
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Re: CAE\IELTS\TOEFL\CPE essays

Postby Ольга » Tue Jun 21, 2016 9:09 pm

Thanks a lot! :)
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iguanamon
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Re: CAE\IELTS\TOEFL\CPE essays

Postby iguanamon » Tue Jun 21, 2016 9:15 pm

You're welcome, Olga. You should have a look at the lang8 website which is dedicated to language correcting. You can get more help by correcting English-speakers' Russian texts and offering detailed explanations along with your corrections. Though, it takes time to win friends and good correctors.
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