the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

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Cavesa
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Cavesa » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:03 pm

Thanks a lot, friends.
reineke wrote:I like your country. Work on the two opportunities. Figure out if France is a dead end. Spain is even further away, however. If German is optional, drop it for now.

You're not a doctor there. :-D That is the difference. And the conditions are not improving quite the opposite. We got a novel of the law concerning medical training of young doctors in November. It got even worse.

German is not that optional, as that is the most probable option. They are taking doctors all the time, without further exams, you "just" need the degree and language skills. I just don't like the German speaking countries that much.

MamaPata wrote:Counselling? :lol: Focus on the strengths you do have - other students don't have your language learning experience, they won't have the same work experience, they haven't worked in more than one place... And concentrate on the things you have done/are doing, not the things ahead of you. It's too easy to look at the exams coming up and panic (and then not do anything). It's the most irritating advice, but just take it one step at a time. When you start to find yourself worrying or regretting what you did/didn't do, find something/anything to do until you can distract yourself.

Mostly though, just trust you have it in you. You have overcome many difficulties and you have proved yourself many times. You'll do it again. Good luck with it all.

Thanks. I'll try. Divide et impera. One chapter at a time. One page at a time. It just looks like all the previous study related obstacles were much smaller. I feel like a middle level RPG character who, having battled wolves and ducks so far, is suddenly facing a boss dragon.

Ani wrote:You can't panic for a year and a half.

You underestimate my power :-D

Schedule 30-60 minutes of exercise into your day every day. Take your vitamins, keep up your protein. Find some herbal tea you like. Review whatever system you are using for memorization. Be sure it is better than trying to read and re-read notes. SRS whatever you can. Then sit down and go for it knowing you are going to have the best outcome you possibly can, and your life will be ok no matter what.

Thanks, I'll tr a that. Medicine students may actually be in general horrible at keeping a healthy lifestyle. Just the last sentence is hard to belive. Seeing all those successful young people around me, it is so hard to belive my life can be ok even if I fail again and again. I am already late at everything. It seems to be a problem of my generation. It is too easy to boast these days for the successful people, it is too hard to avoid the personal "PR" of others on the social media and everywhere. The competition is extremely fierce, a degree doesn't suffice anymore, many of the awesome opportunities we've got are becoming unofficial requirements for success. It is hard to keep reminding myself that others struggle too.

Be confident that most of the students you see studying all hours are *really* bad at memorization. Most people study in circles and don't actually memorize anything.

I hope so. But right now, it looks like everyone around is simply so good, so dilligent, so intelligent and good at memorisation. It is hard to tell what is the truth and what is just a pretence. It is hard to compare myself objectively to not only others, but to the profile of a student with a chance to succeed.
........................
Two langauge learning points:
I spent 50 minutes on Memrise today, it is definitely helpful. My German profits from it, but I need to get back to courses as soon as my medicine studies are a bit less savage again.

And my sister needed help with English again. The homework: a powerpoint presenation on her family (included extended family).
1.powerpoint is evil and should be forbidden from use on innocent young individuals :-D
2.she probably has the largest family of the whole class. That is practical for genetics examples, not for lenghty descriptions.
3.I hate this kind of homework, requiring people to share personal information. I once met a teacher who encouraged her students to make fake identities, to make talking easier. I wish all teachers did that.
.................

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Elenia » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:43 pm

Arriving a bit late but I want to add my two cents.

First: stop comparing yourself to others. I know, I know, it's the advice you specifically asked us not to give. You are right - you will be weighted up against others but, as Ani said, you will never know personally what those 9000 thousand others are doing, or how well they are doing it. The time you spend thinking about how well you measure up is time wasted, and worse because it is actively detrimental to you. If you find yourself thinking that so and so is probably doing this, oust the thought. You don't need it at all. The only thing you can affect and change is what you do.

Second: Take things step by step, like Mama Pata said. Don't think about the exams or what will come after them. Break down what you need to do, and simply do it. If you find yourself fretting about failure, do something that makes you happy or at least takes your mind off your studies for a while. This is coming from the person who was a blubbering, hyperventilating mess in the corner only five days ago, so I know it is more easily said than done. But I've finally got to a stage where I can see the task in front of me, and I managed to do it in the end. It might help just to talk to your boyfriend at times when panic is overwhelming you, just so that you can have an outside perspective on the best course of action and a little help seeing what steps you can take at such times. Of course, you always have us, too!

Third: You managed to change your habits during January. Now try keeping them changed through February. Don't put too much on your plate - if one of your new habits leads to more stress than it's worth, then adapt it or drop it. Don't let one thing ruin push you too far so that you end up giving up on everything else.

I try not to think about my failings. It doesn't help me at all. There are certain things which I am hopeless at, and things which I could and should have done better. When I spent time thinking about these things, I got nothing done, and I made everything worse. I'll still think about them sometimes - I regret often how forgetful I am, how slow I am, how bad at time management I am. But I simply can't dwell on these things. I've got talents which help me eliminate my 'natural' failings, and I'm developing strategies to compensate for them. I still make mistakes and get things monumentally wrong (see the above 'blubbering, hyperventilating mess) but I have always recognised that immersing myself in things that I have done and might do wrong has never helped me, and I am now acting on that realisation.


All of these things are easy to say. They take hard work, and we both know that. But they are not impossible, and I do believe that you can do it.
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Jar-Ptitsa » Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:38 pm

Good luck cavesa x
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby sfuqua » Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:39 pm

However you plan and prepare, life has a way of making a mockery of plans. Nobody know what the future holds. Really.

Any of us have our lives blown up by single phone call, a single lab test, a single slip on the ice Never let worry make you miss a moment of joy.

Just do the next thing and the next thing and keep moving in the right direction.

All you can do is your best.

Now if I can only take my own advice...
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Cavesa
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Cavesa » Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:46 pm

Thank you, my friends.

Elenia, you are a miracle. Lots of good advice. I'd hug you, if you were closer!

Sfuqua, you are right. Let's laught about my plans and fears ten years from now. :-)

The "plan" of attack: (and you all inspired me, thank you)
1.Advantage: The French textbooks fit my learning style better than the Czech ones, which is great. I will spend a few hours a day colouring them with my highlighters, reading though and so on. A wonder: the authors really can imagine the reader may be a student and may see the stuff for the first time in their life. Some czech authors seem to have trouble with this revolutionary idea and therefore the books are harder to use.
2.After reading, I'll do some of the exercises, the questions, or the clinical cases. Every day. That is the silver lining of the French exam centered system. There are medecine "workbooks". As you may have noticed, I love workbooks.
3.ANKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Time to get back and to use this tool to conquer it all. Let's turn one of the main obstacles (too much memorisation) into an advantage. A minority of students uses Anki. A few do, and share their decks. I can make my own too.
4.I still should have energy for an hour or two of languages (Es+De) per day). They make me happier.

Let's see how this works during February.

My February langauge goals: keep up the 10 hours per week goal, get back to Gramatica de Uso, and get working on one of my German courses. And i don't need to worry about the SC, I devoured a lot of input in January, when I was ill, it can wait a month or two now.
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Elenia » Mon Feb 06, 2017 12:43 am

Excellent plan! I look forward to seeing you succeed! :)

(And I have hugs for you, too!)
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Systematiker » Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:06 am

I'm late to the party here as well - you've gotten a bunch of great advice, and I can only second it.

You eat an elephant one bite at a time, as the saying goes.

Something to remember about all those people you might be compared to: the vast majority of them are presenting a certain image of themselves, whether on social media or by studying in circles in the library, or whatever. There's a documented phenomenon of dissatisfaction among certain age groups based on what they see as the representation of their peers' lives - but it's just that, it's merely a representation, not reality. Stop worrying about what the other people are doing, because you don't need to concern yourself with the stories they're telling to make themselves feel better. You never thought you'd make it this far? Well, you did, because you've got some talent and ability, you're not just bullshitting your way through. You could have done things better? Well, great, but you got it done, and not only are you still moving forward, you know how to do even better next time. You didn't crash and burn, and you won't in the future.

You wouldn't have acheived what you already have if you didn't deserve it - you've worked hard, and you are good enough. Keep working hard. One step at a time. Don't let anyone tell you any different - not even yourself.

I too look forward to seeing you succeed. I'll be praying for you, if that's alright to say.
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Brun Ugle
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Brun Ugle » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:12 am

This isn't really advice, but as someone who has failed many times and sometimes quite dramatically, I can tell you, failure isn't as bad as you expect it to be, even when it means you have to basically start your life over from scratch. (Been there. Done that. Survived.) You just have a good cry, then pick yourself up and start a new life. I don't mean to suggest that you will fail, but fear of failure blocks people and makes them freeze up, and there is no need to be afraid of it.
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Cavesa
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Cavesa » Mon Feb 06, 2017 3:41 pm

Thanks!

Prayers are welcome, thank you, Systematiker.

I know they are presenting an image of themselves, my cortex knows that. But it doesn't suffice, my limbic system is still not convinced and sabotages my efforts :-D . And it is even harder to know what is the reality like, when faced with a different system, where people are used to test based "meritocracy" since their childhood. I cannot tell, what part of their image is not entirely true. At my faculty, people try to keep face just out of pride, shame, and so on. Here, there is the whole issue of scores deciding every step of your studies, of everyone being your direct competitor. And of course they will show the truth just to close friends, not to a foreigner.

You make me look like a much more successful person, thank you for it.

Brun Ugle, I have experienced a lot of failure. I am not one of those, who are facing difficulties for the first time in their life and simply cannot bear having 8 points out of 10 (there are many people like that on my faculty. Actually, those are the students the system wants. And this is a reason why so many doctors are so "inhuman", as they used to be young people with a damaged ladder of priorities and worsening emotional and mental health.). The trouble is, that it is getting too late for restarts. And in some cases, there will be no second chance for me. I have already failed a lot and I am getting tired of it. I would really like to win for a change.

And this whole experiment is getting pretty expensive too. Suddenly, it looks funny to consider whether or not to buy one Spanish coursebook or two. In comparison with the growing pile of medicine books (and other expenses), it is nothing. If I fail to get abroad, I will have to face my dad like: "thanks for letting me waste so much of your money, could you please keep supporting me financially till I am 35 and my salary improves a bit?" and the last bits of my confidence will die.

P.S. On a positive note: I love anki.
P.S.2 in a few days, the cards will pile up and I'll hate it. But it doesn't matter, I'll still love it at the same time :-D
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Re: the Diaries of a Caffeinated Squirrel

Postby Brun Ugle » Tue Feb 07, 2017 7:37 am

Too late for restarts?! You're still in your 20's! I understand because I felt the same way at that age, but I restarted in my 30's and now I'm working on it again in my 40's. I've met people who started over from scratch again in their 50's and even 60's. I get the part about not wanting to burden or disappoint your family because I have that too. Fortunately, I live so far away that they don't have to know much about my life.

Anyway, I'm sure you will do well. Good luck.

Edit: I'm not trying to make light of your difficulties. If fear of failure is motivating for you, then use it. But if fear of failure is adding to your stress, then you should know that even if the worst happens and you flunk out of medical school and have to start over, it isn't the end of the world. Sometimes failure can be the beginning of something wonderful.
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