My language Dilemma

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perfektesLeben
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My language Dilemma

Postby perfektesLeben » Wed May 17, 2017 4:26 pm

Hello. I am new, this is my first post. I have kind of an interesting Situation. My native language is technically German but when i was around 5 I moved to the US and learned English in the school. I don't really have an accent since i was so young but with certain words, i'm told i say them funny (mainly by my husband). It's quite strange for me. When people hear me speak they think i'm German but because i use English in all areas of my life i use it so much more than German and therefore my German (especially grammar) isn't as good even though i'm from there and hold a German Passport and so on. Anyway so overall, can it be, that your first language is actually different than your main language that you're more confortable with? I wasn't even sure how to fill the sign up form for this Forums out when it came to measuring language level! I'm pretty much relearning German and of course it comes to me natrual compared to my husband who is American.

Thank you all for reading and i look forward to your comments/opinions. Glad to be a part of this language community.
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zenmonkey
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Re: My language Dilemma

Postby zenmonkey » Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm

Welcome to the site!!
Yes, this is more common than you think. You are what is called a Third Culture Kid. There are a lot of article on TCKs out there.

I'm another in the same boat.

I hold a Mexican passport (but was born in France) because both my parents are Mexican, but I moved to the US when I was 8 and did all my studies there. As I sound like I am from California, don't physically present as the stereotypical Mexican (and that's a whole other discussion...) most people assume I'm American when I speak.

I also moved to back to France 30 years ago and lived and had children there. So my second and third languages are generally stronger than my native Spanish where I might have some weaknesses in certain grammar constructs or vocabulary, while remaining fluent.

I guess you moved at an age where you lost a lot of your German. In that case, take a look at Elias Canetti's autobiography (3 volumes!) He takes about the loss of his childhood language.

Personally, I do almost no active work my 3 'identity' languages at this point other than just use them as situations allow. Or a book or podcast here or there.
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perfektesLeben
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Re: My language Dilemma

Postby perfektesLeben » Wed May 17, 2017 6:06 pm

I'm glad to know i'm not alone! Thank you for the response. With all the political garbage going on it might be good, that people think you're American. So France is like Germany then, that even if you're born there, it doesn't gain you citizenship? You hold only a mexican passport? It makes sense that you're french and English are better than your spanish but did you speak spanish with your parents?

My father speaks german and now, that i'm older i appreciate the language more but when i came to US i wanted my parents only to speak English with me. My father would drop me off at school and he'd talk in German and i'd get so embarrased! I'd only answer him back in English. I wanted to be like the other children and speaking a different language set me apart. Anyway now i enjoy the language and going to Uni in the fall to become a teacher, perhaps to teach German but i have to understand the grammar first before i can teach it to others Haha. But yes, glad to know this is somewhat common position (:
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Re: My language Dilemma

Postby zenmonkey » Wed May 17, 2017 6:34 pm

perfektesLeben wrote:I'm glad to know i'm not alone! Thank you for the response. With all the political garbage going on it might be good, that people think you're American. So France is like Germany then, that even if you're born there, it doesn't gain you citizenship? You hold only a mexican passport? It makes sense that you're french and English are better than your spanish but did you speak spanish with your parents?


I live in Germany today (my kids are in France) - being an outsider is just fine - and even with the political issues in the US, I'd do ok if that was the place I lived - a little tougher now but solvable. By the way, this board keeps the politics low, given the necessity of having people from all over the world.

France has changed but when I was born, one had to live there for 5 years before the age of 18 to be eligible for citizenship. I could ask for it now as my daughters are French born, but I didn't. I may request German citizenship one of these days.

I spoke Spanish with my parents and brothers (and English) as a child and we went back to Mexico often enough to keep it active.
My environment was very positive towards languages (my parents spoke 5-6 different ones and studied a few others) and I would have been laughed out of the house if I tried to only speak English.

My father speaks german and now, that i'm older i appreciate the language more but when i came to US i wanted my parents only to speak English with me. My father would drop me off at school and he'd talk in German and i'd get so embarrased! I'd only answer him back in English. I wanted to be like the other children and speaking a different language set me apart. Anyway now i enjoy the language and going to Uni in the fall to become a teacher, perhaps to teach German but i have to understand the grammar first before i can teach it to others Haha. But yes, glad to know this is somewhat common position (:


Best of luck with the studies!!!
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perfektesLeben
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Re: My language Dilemma

Postby perfektesLeben » Wed May 17, 2017 6:53 pm

Ach you live in Germany! Which city? I'm from Hannover, where we speak the pure neutral german :D I assume you now speak german? You have a very interesting life have to say it. I could give you my german citizenship as i live in US with my husband :D of course i'm kidding but maybe someday we move back.
Ich könnte DIr einfach mal auf Deutsch schreiben wenn das Dir lieber ist :)

And thanks for warning me about the politics ;)
MfG
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perfektesLeben
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Re: My language Dilemma

Postby perfektesLeben » Wed May 17, 2017 8:19 pm

Yeah i kinda suck at both languages equally lol never really felt like i have a native language even though i can speak both...

I didn't realize how bad my writing grammar was until i just reread what i wrote.
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Re: My language Dilemma

Postby IronMike » Mon May 22, 2017 4:56 pm

When I was working on my thesis (Russian language prestige in the states of the former Soviet Union), I learned that many people have different first language vs. mother tongue. In some states of the FSU, the census will ask two questions: What is your mother tongue? What is your native language? (Also many ask a third question: What is your home language?)

Your situation is not unique.

Oh, and welcome to the site!
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Re: My language Dilemma

Postby FrannieB » Tue May 23, 2017 3:09 pm

Welcome to the site and I just posted about this.
Another in a similar boat - my parents are Cuban - I was born in the US but Spanish was spoken at home.
I am also a TCK - I learned that on this board.
So Spanish is my mother tongue/first language and English is my native language.
Culturally I much more connected with Latino culture than American culture. I think this may also be because my father has lived with me for 12 years.
Funny my daughter was doing a report on Cuba at school and she was supposed to compare and contrast home traditions and she couldn't. She was basically this is how we eat, how we celebrate holidays and other things. :lol: Guess she should have picked another country, however, she loves her heritage and any chance she gets she will remind you she is Cuban-American - even through my mother-in-law tried for years to get her to say she is Irish - just have never connected. That was random.
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perfektesLeben
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Re: My language Dilemma

Postby perfektesLeben » Tue May 23, 2017 3:45 pm

Irish! :D i'm glad there's others in similar boats, i really thought i was odd in to have this Situation. Very cool that your daughter is proud of her heritage. I'm proud of being German but i also enjoy being American :)

Just so i have the lingo down: i would say my first Language is German but my native language is English? It's hard since i spoke German too growing up, just didn't like it as much :)
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